Supporting Your Girlfriend Through Grief When She's Pushing You Away

Understanding Why Your Girlfriend is Pushing You Away While Grieving

It's never easy when a loved one is grieving. Grief can take many forms and affect people in profoundly different ways. If your girlfriend is grieving and begins to push you away, it can be confusing and painful. However, there are ways to understand what she's going through and support her effectively.

Common Causes of Pushing Partners Away During Grief

There are a few common reasons why grieving girlfriends tend to withdraw from romantic partners:

• She needs space to process her emotions
• She feels guilty about moving forward with life
• She's dealing with depression or anxiety
• She's questioning the relationship
• She doesn't have the bandwidth for intimacy

Grief puts people into survival mode. She may be so focused on just getting through each day that she doesn't have anything left to give to the relationship. Don't take this personally. Keep showing up patiently and giving her reasons to let you back in when she's ready.

Ways to Support Your Girlfriend Through Her Grief

If your girlfriend is grieving, here are some productive ways you can support her:

• Give her space when she asks for it
• Listen without judgement when she opens up
• Offer practical help like meals or errands
• Gently encourage professional counseling
• Remind her you care and you're there when she's ready
• Educate yourself on the grief process
• Have patience and lower relationship expectations

The most important thing is respecting her boundaries while reassuring her of your support. Don't take her withdrawal personally. With time and space, she'll find her way back when the rawness of grief subsides.

Setting Boundaries While Remaining Supportive

When supporting a grieving girlfriend, it's essential to also set healthy boundaries for yourself. Here are some ways to maintain boundaries without withdrawing your support:

• Communicate your needs clearly and calmly
• Refuse to tolerate abusive or toxic behavior
• Seek support from trusted friends or family
• Take time for your own self-care
• Be patient but stand firm on your boundaries
• Let her know you have to pull back if she crosses lines

Letting your girlfriend isolate herself for a period is understandable, but you don't have to tolerate being mistreated. You can compassionately withdraw some of your support if she becomes abusive. Remind her you want to help but you need to take care of yourself too.

Coping With Feeling Rejected While She Grieves

When your girlfriend stops engaging in the relationship as she grieves, it's normal to take it personally and feel rejected. Here are some healthy ways to cope when you feel rejected by her grief behavior:

Seeking Reassurance From Trusted Loved Ones

Talking to close friends or family can help give you reassurance that her withdrawal likely has nothing to do with you. They can remind you of your positive qualities so you don't internalize her distance. Just be sure not to violate her privacy as you seek support.

Practicing Self-Care and Staying Busy

Make more time for activities and people that nourish you and bring you joy when she's unavailable. Go to the gym, catch up with friends, indulge in hobbies. Focusing on your needs keeps your confidence up and prepares you to be supportive when she's ready.

Acknowledging Your Feelings

Bottling up feelings of rejection only hurts you. Process these emotions by confiding in loved ones, journaling or even seeing a counselor yourself. Allow yourself to feel your painful emotions rather than suppressing them.

Adjusting Relationship Expectations

Your normal relationship rules and routines will likely need to adapt while she grieves. Readjust your expectations around intimacy, communication and time together. Understanding it's temporary will help you be patient.

Giving Her Space Without Withdrawing All Support

You can give her space without disappearing. Occasional texts, meals dropped off and other small gestures let her know you remain by her side when she's ready. You don't have to cut off contact completely.

Re-Establishing Intimacy and Connection After Grief

As the rawness of grief fades, you'll want to slowly re-establish intimacy and connection with your girlfriend. Here's how to do so productively:

Discuss Her Needs and Yours

Have an open talk about what you both need right now - and moving forward - to feel safe and cared for in the relationship. Compromise on how to meet each other's most important needs.

Make Quality Time Together

Start slowly spending more quality time together. Cook dinners, go for walks or just hold one another while watching TV. Rebuild physical and emotional intimacy at her pace.

Reintegrate Shared Interests and Socializing

As she's ready, start doing the activities you used to enjoy together, like date nights, traveling or hanging out with mutual friends. This helps reinforce your bond.

Seek Couples Counseling If Needed

If you're having trouble communicating effectively or reconnecting, couples counseling can help. Having a neutral third party facilitate difficult conversations may benefit you both.

Give It Time and Effort

Restoring intimacy after a period of grieving takes time, commitment and ongoing nurture from you both. Have patience and seek progress, not perfection.

When It's Time to Walk Away

In some cases, a girlfriend's grieving may irreparably damage the relationship despite your efforts. Consider walking away if:

• Her grief turns into resentment or anger toward you
• She uses grief as an excuse for unrepentant infidelity or abuse
• She remains emotionally unavailable for an extended time
• Your needs are chronically neglected or unmet
• Couples counseling fails to improve your dynamic

Grief can strain even the strongest bonds. But ultimately the relationship cannot thrive if one partner isn't willing to compromise or invest in healing together. If your reasonable needs go unmet for too long, you may have to walk away.

Finding Closure When Letting Go

If the relationship must end, go through a purposeful grieving and closure process:

Allow Yourself to Fully Grieve

Let yourself cry, journal, talk to loved ones. Bottling up emotions only prolongs the pain. Grieve so you can move forward.

Cut Ties Respectfully

Remove them from social media, stop communication and return belongings respectfully. A clean break helps disengage.

Pour Into Other Relationships

Make more time for family, friends and community. Humans need connection. Seek it out.

Immerse Yourself in Self-Care

Now is the time to pursue personal goals and passions. Dive into work, hobbies, the gym. Rediscover yourself.

Consider Counseling

If you're really struggling, see a therapist. Unresolved grief can hold you back. Seek help processing it.

With time and self-care, you can heal and open yourself to love again when the time is right. You deserve to feel cherished in a mutual relationship.

The Takeaway

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Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult with a healthcare professional before starting any new treatment regimen.