Could My Partner Be on the Autism Spectrum? A Quiz to Recognize Signs of Autism in Adults
Have you noticed certain quirks and behaviors in your partner and wondered if they could have undiagnosed autism, sometimes called Asperger's syndrome? While only a professional assessment can diagnose autism spectrum disorder (ASD), this informal quiz can help you determine if an evaluation is warranted.
What is Autism Spectrum Disorder?
Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a complex developmental condition that affects how the brain processes information. It is called a "spectrum" disorder because symptoms can range from mild to severe and manifest differently in each person.
People with ASD struggle with social communication, have restricted interests, and may engage in repetitive behaviors. They also exhibit sensory issues, motor skill delays, and sometimes cognitive impairments.
Many adults with ASD were never formally diagnosed as children. Recognizing signs in a partner and seeking an expert assessment can help access support services and improve the relationship.
Signs of Possible Undiagnosed Autism in Adults
Here are some common symptoms of ASD that may be noticeable in a partner:
- Poor nonverbal communication skills like lack of eye contact
- Problems understanding social cues and body language
- Preferring set routines and difficulty with change
- Narrow, highly focused interests
- Repetitive behaviors like rocking, pacing, or hand flapping
- Sensory sensitivities to lights, sounds, taste, or touch
- Stimming behaviors such as tapping or fidgeting
- Social awkwardness and trouble making conversation
- Flat tone and lack of typical back-and-forth in conversation
- Taking things very literally
Should I Encourage My Partner to Get Evaluated?
If you've noticed multiple signs of ASD in your partner across different settings, gently recommend they consider getting evaluated by a specialist. An accurate diagnosis can:
- Provide understanding of their challenges
- Open doors to helpful resources and services
- Improve self-esteem when they realize it's not their fault
- Allow access to community support groups
A diagnosis later in life can be very empowering and validating. Try framing it as a journey of self-discovery rather than pointing out their flaws. Make it clear you'll support them no matter the outcome.
Does My Partner Show Signs of Autism? Quiz
Answer the questions below to help determine if your partner could be on the spectrum. Note patterns spanning different situations over time rather than isolated incidents.
Social Communication and Interaction
- Does your partner have difficulty making eye contact?
- Do they struggle to read social cues or understand body language?
- Does your partner prefer interacting 1-on-1 instead of groups?
- Do they avoid chit-chat, seem lost in conversation, or only talk about certain topics?
- Is their facial expression and tone of voice often flat or "off"?
Restricted and Repetitive Behaviors
- Does your partner have intense, highly focused interests or hobbies?
- Do they strictly adhere to set routines and dislike change?
- Does your partner engage in repetitive behaviors like rocking, pacing, or hand flapping?
- Do they stim by tapping fingers, snapping, humming, or making other sounds?
Sensory Differences
- Does your partner have sensitive hearing, smell, taste, or touch?
- Are they bothered by certain sounds, colors, textures, or scents?
- Do they crave deep pressure or enjoy tight hugs?
- Does your partner dislike having their hair cut or nails trimmed?
Motor and Learning Style
- Do they have poor coordination skills and difficulty playing sports?
- Does your partner have messy handwriting?
- Do they think very concretely and struggle with abstract concepts?
- Does learning new skills take more time and effort for your partner?
What If My Partner Shows Many Autism Traits?
If you answered "yes" to many of the quiz questions, your partner likely exhibits several autistic traits. However, only an expert evaluation by a psychologist, psychiatrist, or licensed clinical social worker can provide an official ASD diagnosis.
Ask your partner how they feel about getting assessed. Share your observations and assurances you'll support them no matter what. If they're open to it, contact your insurance or local autism resource centers to find professionals who evaluate adults.
An evaluation will likely involve an interview discussing developmental history, questionnaires rating symptoms, cognitive/memory tests, and assessing how your partner communicates and behaves. This thorough process helps determine an accurate diagnosis.
Living with a Partner on the Spectrum
If your partner does get diagnosed with ASD, here are some tips for strengthening your relationship:
- Learn about autism so you can understand their experiences.
- Note situations they find challenging and offer coping strategies.
- Gently explain social cues or body language they miss.
- Speak literally rather than hinting.
- Respect sensory needs around noise, foods, clutter, etc.
- Allow time for transition when disrupting routines.
- Make some social outings 1-on-1.
- Suggest hobby groups to meet others with shared interests.
- Work with therapists who understand ASD.
Having an autism spectrum partner can require compromise and communication. But understanding each other better often strengthens the bond. Focus on their unique strengths and point of view while supporting areas of difficulty.
The Takeaway
Noticing potential autism symptoms in your partner doesn't mean your relationship is doomed. In fact, seeking an assessment can improve intimacy when you both have more insight. This quiz provides a starting point, but professional input is key for an accurate diagnosis. With compassion and support, couples touched by ASD can have fulfilling bonds built on acceptance.
FAQs
How can I approach my partner about getting evaluated?
Have an open, caring conversation focusing on your observations and desire to understand them better. Don't accuse. Explain an assessment can provide self-insight and access to support. Offer to help find a specialist and attend appointments.
What are early signs of autism in toddlers?
Early signs include delayed speech, lack of eye contact/response to name, not pointing or gesturing, repetitive behaviors, obsessive interests, sensory issues, poor motor skills, and lack of pretend play.
Can you develop autism as an adult?
No, autism is present from early childhood. But less severe forms like Asperger's are often not recognized until adulthood when social demands intensify. Getting diagnosed later in life is common.
Are autistic people low IQ?
No, the majority of autistic individuals have average to above average intelligence. Severe autism can involve cognitive impairment, but high functioning autism does not correlate with IQ.
Can autism be cured?
There is no medical cure for autism, which affects brain development and is genetic in nature. But therapies and interventions can significantly improve communication, social, and daily living skills.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult with a healthcare professional before starting any new treatment regimen.
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