Supporting Your Boyfriend Through His Weight Gain Struggle

The Struggle of Loving Someone Who's Gaining Weight

It's not uncommon for people to gain weight when they enter into a new relationship. There are many reasons this tends to happen, from increased comfort and happiness to changes in lifestyle and eating habits. But what do you do if your partner's weight gain starts to concern you? It's a delicate situation that requires empathy, care, and open communication.

Why Your Boyfriend May Be Gaining Weight

First, it's important to understand some of the common reasons behind relationship weight gain:

• Greater relaxation and contentment. When people feel happy and secure in a new relationship, they tend to worry less about their weight.
• More dining out. New couples often eat at restaurants more frequently, which can mean larger portions and more calories.
• Less motivation to exercise. Couples may skip workouts in favor of spending more time together at home.
• Different eating habits. Your eating patterns and preferences may be influencing your partner's diet.
• Decreased incentive to stay slim. Your boyfriend may feel less pressure to stay fit now that he knows you accept him as he is.

Why You May Enjoy Your Boyfriend's Weight Gain

You mentioned that you like the fact your boyfriend is getting fat. Here are some possible reasons for this:

• Physical attraction. Some people are drawn to larger body types and find weight gain appealing.
• Emotional attachment. Weight gain can represent comfort, security, and happiness in the relationship.
• Less insecurity. You may feel relieved he's not obsessed with staying super slim and muscular.
• Sense of nurturing. On some level, you may enjoy being able to nurture and indulge him.
• Complimentary. You feel his weight gain complements your own body image and preferences.

Potential Risks of Weight Gain

However, allowing your boyfriend's weight to increase unchecked may pose some risks, including:

• Health issues. Obesity raises the risk for diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, and certain cancers.
• Lower self-esteem. Significant weight gain can damage his body image and self-confidence.
• Mobility challenges. Excess weight puts greater strain on the joints and can impede movement.
• Intimacy struggles. As your partner's weight increases, your physical intimacy may start to suffer.
• Shorter lifespan. Being severely overweight or obese takes years off one's expected longevity.

Navigating Your Concerns with Care

If you have mixed feelings about your boyfriend's weight gain, it's wise to proceed cautiously. These tips can help you broach the topic in a healthy, productive way:

Reflect First

Before discussing the issue with your partner, reflect first on your own feelings. Are you truly concerned about his health, or do societal ideals about weight play into your hesitation? Get clear on your motivations so you can communicate them effectively.

Watch Your Wording

Don't make blunt comments about his weight being a "problem" or that he needs to lose pounds. Instead, use "I" statements to frame it as your own concern. For example, "I've noticed you seem winded easily now" or "I worry this could affect your health down the road."

Suggest Small Changes

Rather than urging your boyfriend to overhaul his lifestyle, propose small, sustainable changes. Recommend cooking healthy dinners together a few nights a week or going for walks after meals. Implementing tiny shifts over time can make a big difference.

Lead by Example

Model the habits you want to see - like serving yourself modest portions, loading up on vegetables, and staying active. Seeing you practice what you preach can motivate your partner to get on board.

Praise Progress

If your boyfriend does make efforts to get back in shape, offer lots of praise and positive reinforcement. Compliment any small wins and commitments to better health.

When Is Professional Help Needed?

If your partner becomes obese and his weight gain starts impacting his physical and emotional health, don't hesitate to gently recommend seeing a doctor. A physician can rule out any underlying conditions and offer customized weight loss advice.

In some cases, you may also want to suggest couple's counseling. This gives you a neutral environment to address concerns and identify healthy strategies for getting your relationship back on track.

Focus on Lasting Lifestyle Changes

Rather than demanding immediate weight loss from your boyfriend, aim for sustainable lifestyle changes you can maintain as a couple long-term. Here are some healthy habits to instill together:

Meal Plan as a Team

Make meal planning and prep a shared activity each week. Look for nutritious recipes you both get excited about and portion out proper servings.

Stock Up on Healthy Snacks

To avoid late night takeout binges, keep your kitchen stocked with fresh fruits, vegetables, nuts, hummus and other smart snacks.

Walk and Talk

Incorporate exercise into your time together by taking nightly walks after dinner. You'll get fresh air, burn calories and bond.

Find Active Hobbies

Pick up some active hobbies you can enjoy as a couple like hiking, cycling, tennis, rock climbing, or joining a recreational sports team.

Enlist Social Support

Rally your friends and family to encourage healthy choices when you socialize as a group. It's easier with everyone on board.

Focus on Lasting Lifestyle Changes

Rather than demanding immediate weight loss from your boyfriend, aim for sustainable lifestyle changes you can maintain as a couple long-term. Here are some healthy habits to instill together:

Be Patient and Understanding

Keep in mind that weight loss is a gradual process. Offer ongoing support and don't reprimand your boyfriend if he slips up on his diet or exercise routine. Stay positive!

Compliment Each Other

Give lots of compliments about non-physical traits you admire about each other. Nurture your emotional intimacy so you stay focused on the right priorities.

Practice Self-care

Make sure you also invest time in your own self-care, whether it's exercising, socializing with friends or enjoying hobbies. Don't become consumed with your partner's weight.

See a Counselor If Needed

If your concerns aren't being addressed despite repeated efforts, don't be afraid to seek help from a couples counselor. They can mediate and help get your relationship on a healthier track.

Remember What Brought You Together

When tackling the sensitive issue of weight gain, remind your boyfriend what initially brought you together - your connection, chemistry, shared laughs and values. Keep nurturing your bond as your top priority.

With open communication, patience and compassion, you can get through this challenge. Focus on health and happiness, not just pounds on the scale. Maintain perspective on what matters most - a caring, committed relationship you can both feel good about.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult with a healthcare professional before starting any new treatment regimen.