Is it Healthy if He Wants to See You Every Day?

He Wants to See Me Everyday - Is This Healthy?

When you start a new relationship, it's common to want to spend most of your free time with your new partner. You're in the honeymoon phase - everything is exciting, new, and passionate. However, as time goes on, is it healthy for your partner to want to see you and spend time together every single day?

Wanting constant contact could be a sign of an unhealthy, controlling relationship. Or, it may just indicate a strong attachment style if expectations are reasonable. There are several factors to help determine if "he wants to see me everyday" is a relationship red flag or within the bounds of normal coupledom.

Signs His Wish to See You Daily is Healthy

Here are some signs your partner wanting daily connection comes from a healthy place:

• He asks to make plans rather than demands it
• He has his own independent hobbies and friends
• He doesn't get upset if you are occasionally unavailable
• He compromises if you don't want to see each other everyday
• Seeing each other often was a mutual decision
• He wants to see you without constant texting in between
• He doesn't guilt or manipulate you if you can't see him

In healthy relationships, both people choose to spend a lot of time together because they genuinely enjoy it. There is no control or jealousy motivating it.

Reasons a Healthy Partner May Want to See You Frequently

There are several understandable reasons someone may want to spend most days together, especially early on:

• New relationship energy - Getting to know someone new is exciting! In the honeymoon phase, it's normal to want constant closeness.
• Increased availability - If you are both single and childless, you likely have more flexibility to see each other often.
• Strong attachment - Some people just have a more insecure attachment style and thrive on close contact.
• Infatuation - When you really like someone, you can't get enough time together.
• Sparks and chemistry - An intense physical connection may drive the desire for frequent meetups.

While wanting continual contact may seem needy to some, for others it's simply a sign of really liking their partner when in a secure, interdependent relationship.

Signs Daily Contact Is Becoming Unhealthy

Frequent meetups cross the line into unhealthy territory when:

• He insists on seeing you even when you have other plans
• He gets upset if you don't comply with the request to meet up
• He demands all your free time and guilts you for seeing friends
• His contact feels smothering, not loving
• He doesn't respect your boundaries and needs for space
• You feel obligated to say yes even when you want alone time

One partner's wishes dominating the relationship and forcing the other to comply is not part of a caring, equitable partnership. Nor is making someone feel guilty for tending to their own needs.

Signs of Controlling Behavior

Some other warning signs that frequent meetup demands could be controlling include:

• Constant check-ins and questions about your whereabouts
• Getting irrationally angry or jealous when you're apart
• Isolation from friends and family
• Stalking, monitoring, or needing to know your activities
• Making all the decisions in the relationship
• Threats when you don't do what they want

These behaviors are about power and possession, not genuine care and intimacy. Controlling partners use demands to see you as a way to dominate you.

How to Set Healthy Boundaries Around Time Together

If your partner wants to spend every free moment together, how do you set reasonable boundaries?

• Communicate your needs honestly but gently. For example, "I love spending time with you but I also really value having some solo time to recharge."
• Suggest a reasonable routine, like spending 4-5 days together each week and 1-2 days doing your own activities.
• Organize specific date nights versus only spontaneous meetups.
• Decline unnecessary daily contact gracefully. For example, "I can't get coffee this morning but let's plan something fun for this weekend!"
• Spend time together doing parallel activities like reading side-by-side versus constant conversation.
• Get out ahead of the guilt trips. Make it clear guilt makes you want space, not closeness.

Having open conversations about your needs, interests, attachment styles and relationship expectations from the start helps set the tone for healthy boundaries long-term.

How Much Time Together Is Healthy in a Relationship?

There is no magic number of days per week that is the "correct" amount for a couple to spend together. Healthy relationships defy one-size-fits-all rules.

Here are some factors to consider:

• Stage of the relationship - New couples tend to want more frequent contact than long-term partners do.
• Attachment styles - Anxiously attached people often thrive on more time together than avoidant attachers.
• Other priorities - Couples with demanding jobs, families, schooling, etc. likely see each other less often.
• Personal preferences - Some people just require more alone time than others.
• Availability - Practical factors like distance, schedules and obligations impact frequency.

The healthiest approach is to decide on an amount of contact that meets both people's wants and needs fairly - even if it's daily. Mutual care, trust and respect matter more than the number of days.

Age and Gender Differences

Younger couples tend to spend more time together than older couples. In the early infatuation stage, seeing each other daily or almost daily is common. Contact often decreases some over time as the relationship matures. Older couples, especially empty nesters, may enjoy frequent contact again.

Men often desire more frequent interaction than women. But this varies greatly by individual. It's important to not assume contact preferences based on gender stereotypes.

How to Balance Closeness and Independence

For relationships to be healthy, they require a combination of intimacy and autonomy. Here are some tips for striking that balance:

• Discuss each other's preferences and compromise. Don't let one person dominate.
• Make rules like "no phones on date night" and "family dinners are phone-free."
• Nurture your own separate hobbies, interests and friendships.
• Speak up about your wants and needs versus silently complying.
• Offer alternative plans if you can't accept a request to meet up.
• Respect each other's space and solo time as much as together time.

It's also key to have open conversations about expectations around contact. Reassure your partner you want to be together because you genuinely care - not out of obligation or guilt.

When Frequent Contact Becomes Problematic

Some signs that "he wants to see me everyday" has crossed over into unhealthy territory include:

• You feel controlled or micromanaged about how you spend your time.
• You've given up hobbies and friends at their urging.
• You feel anxious about their reaction if you do your own thing.
• They make demands more than requests about getting together.
• They guilt or manipulate you if you don't comply.
• They react irrationally angry or jealous when you're apart.

Drama, guilt and controlling behavior have no place in a caring partnership built on trust and respect. If talking doesn't resolve the issues, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship.

Should You Break Up Over Neediness?

Frequent requests to meet up are not necessarily grounds for a breakup. Here are some questions to help analyze the situation:

• Does their neediness come from insecurity versus a desire to control you? Insecurity can improve over time.
• Have you clearly communicated your needs and boundaries? They may be oblivious.
• Are they open to compromise and respecting your requests for space? If so, the issue may be resolvable.
• Do you genuinely enjoy spending a lot of time together when it's on your terms? Frequent consensual contact is fine.
• Are you willing to work on this issue versus instantly cutting off the relationship?

Breaking up over your partner wanting daily contact is reasonable if they routinely disregard your feelings, boundaries and needs without making efforts to improve. But if they respond positively to communication and compromise, it may be worth nurturing the relationship further.

In Conclusion

A partner wanting to see you every day when you're in a new relationship is very common. This level of contact is healthy when it comes from a place of mutual care, trust and interest. But frequent meetup demands can become unhealthy if they turn into pressure, guilt trips, and control.

Set clear expectations and boundaries from the outset. Ensure your relationship allows room for independence alongside interdependence. Breaking up is warranted if your needs are ignored, but compromise may resolve issues of neediness that come from insecurity. With mutual respect, healthy couples can enjoy as much closeness as meets both parties' needs.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult with a healthcare professional before starting any new treatment regimen.