Tips for Coping When You End a Friendship with Your Best Friend

Coping After Ending a Friendship With Your Best Friend

Losing your best friend can be absolutely devastating. This person may have been by your side for years, shared your secrets, helped you through difficult times, and felt like family. When that bond unexpectedly breaks, the grief and pain of losing that friendship can feel hard to bear. However, there are healthy ways to cope and move forward after ending a friendship with your best friend.

Allow Yourself to Feel the Loss

It's normal to feel shaken and heartbroken after a cherished friendship ends. Don't ignore these feelings or try to downplay the loss. Give yourself time and space to fully process the grief, confusion, anger, or sadness you may feel. Cry it out, journal your thoughts, or open up to loved ones for support. Suppressing emotions will only delay the healing process.

Identify the Reasons for the Broken Friendship

In most cases, friendships don't suddenly end overnight without reason. Reflect on what factors may have led to the dissolution of the relationship. Did you have a fight? Did your values no longer align? Did one person outgrow the friendship? Understanding the 'why' can provide closure and highlight any lessons learned.

Learn from the Experience

A failed friendship can actually be an opportunity for growth. Look within and identify if there are any behaviors or communication patterns you could improve upon in the future. For example, did you have trouble setting boundaries? Were there red flags you ignored? As hard as it is, use the experience to gain wisdom.

Forgive Your Former Friend and Yourself

Carrying resentment toward your ex-friend or beating yourself up with regret will only lead to more bitterness. Emotionally intelligent individuals recognize that humans make mistakes and relationships don't always work out. Practice forgiveness - it releases anger and frees you to move forward.

Lean on Other Supportive Friends

Losing one friend reminds you not to take other friendships for granted. Nurture those bonds by spending quality time with people who uplift and support you. Share your feelings with trusted confidants. Avoid overreliance on any one friend, however, and continue expanding your social connections.

Fill Your Time with Meaningful Activities

It's normal to feel lonely and miss your friend after parting ways. Fill that void by engaging in activities that spark joy, inspire personal growth, and boost your overall well-being. Pursue neglected hobbies, travel somewhere new, take a class, volunteer in your community. Staying busy helps minimize excessive rumination.

Make Self-Care a Priority

Focus on nourishing your mind, body and spirit as you move through this challenging time. Get adequate sleep, eat healthy balanced meals, and make time for relaxation. Don't neglect your emotional, mental, and physical needs. Caring for yourself equips you to better handle the ups and downs.

Consider Counseling for Extra Support

If feelings of depression, anxiety, anger, or isolation persist for months after the friendship ended, it may be beneficial to seek professional support. A counselor can help you work through complicated grief related to the loss. There is no shame in needing extra help.

How to Handle Potentially Awkward Social Situations

After ending a close friendship, you may inevitably cross paths with your ex-friend in social settings or group situations. Handling these potentially awkward interactions gracefully minimizes hurt feelings and discomfort for everyone involved.

Keep Things Civil

You don't have to suddenly become best buddies, but maintaining basic civility speaks to your maturity. Say a polite hello if you pass them at a party, and don't make snarky jokes or rude comments. Taking the high road preserves your dignity.

Limit One-on-One Interactions

Conversations without others around can quickly turn emotional or tense. Politely chat in a group setting, but avoid extended private interactions for now. If your ex-friend tries to pull you aside, suggest catching up later to gracefully exit.

Deflect Personal Questions

Your former friend may ask probing questions about how you've been doing, your dating life, job, etc. Answer vaguely or keep it superficial. Oversharing intimate details feeds their ego and prolongs attachment.

Have a Pat Answer Ready

Come up with a short neutral response to explain the broken friendship if asked, such as "We had a falling out but I wish them all the best." This avoids awkward silence or oversharing resentment.

Don't Badmouth Your Ex-Friend

As tempting as it may be, refrain from making petty insults or trying to turn others against your former friend. Spreading negativity and gossip will only make the situation messier.

Connect with Shared Friends Separately

If you have mutual friends, arrange independent meetups instead of expecting them to choose sides. Reconnect one-on-one to avoid inadvertently leaving your ex-friend out and causing drama.

Signs You're Ready to Start a New Friendship

Once you've had time to grieve the loss of the friendship and engage in self-reflection, you'll start feeling ready to welcome new friendships. Here are some positive signs to look out for:

You've Let Go of Anger

When you can think of your former friend without feeling enraged or resentful, it signals you've moved past the hurt. This emotional maturity means you're ready to be a trusting, loving friend again.

Your Confidence Is Up

This experience has likely made you reflect on your self-worth. Renewed confidence and self-assurance indicate you are prepared to stand up for your needs in new friendships.

You Have More Time

Do you suddenly have free time now that you are not spending it with your ex-BFF? Use those open hours to pursue new social connections and nurture budding friendships.

You Feel Optimistic

When you start to feel hopeful about the future and excited to meet new people, it's a green light to start befriending. A positive outlook attracts quality connections.

You've Identified Friendship Goals

Envision exactly what you want in your ideal friend. Seeking someone who shares your values and interests means your bond will have a strong foundation.

Tips for Starting Healthy New Friendships

Beginning a new chapter of healthy, rewarding friendships may feel intimidating after losing your bestie. Use these pro tips to learn from the past and build even stronger bonds:

Take It Slowly

Don't rush into labeling someone your new BFF right away. Let a sense of trust and comfort gradually develop at an organic pace. Quickly unloading emotional baggage can overwhelm a blossoming bond.

Value Quality over Quantity

This time around, look for friends with real depth, shared values and genuine emotional connection. Don't force relationships just to fill a void. Wait for the right matches.

Practice Being a Good Friend

Reflect on what friendship behaviors make you feel valued, then do those for others. Be a compassionate listener, celebrate their wins, make thoughtful gestures. Model the loyalty you seek.

Set Reasonable Expectations

No friendship will perfectly meet all your needs at all times. Allow friends to be human while seeking multiple connections to avoid over-relying on one person again.

Observe Boundaries

Respect each other's space and don't demand excessive time or attention. Communicate openly when you feel boundaries are crossed so resentment doesn't build.

Don't Compare Friends

Avoid holding new friends up to your ex-BFF's standards. Let each develop into its own unique, meaningful bond without pressure to be identical.

Losing a cherished friendship is a painful life experience

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult with a healthcare professional before starting any new treatment regimen.