Sleeping Only Relationships - Making Casual Sex Work Long-term

What is a Sleeping Only Relationship?

A sleeping only relationship, also known as a sexual relationship, is an intimate partnership between two people that revolves around sex and sleeping together. Emotional connections and doing activities outside the bedroom are not priorities in this type of casual arrangement. For some, this can fulfill their needs without the time commitment of dating.

Characteristics of Sleeping Only Relationships

These types of relationships have some defining features:

• Partners meet exclusively for sexual encounters and sleeping over.
• Dinners, dates, trips, and meeting friends or family are uncommon.
• Conversations focus on flirting and arranging meetups rather than personal details.
• There is little or no expectation of monogamy or romantic commitment.
• Attachment and consistency are not goals, and partners may change over time.
• Outside of the bedroom, communication is typically minimal.

Unlike friends with benefits arrangements, sleeping only relationships imply spending the night together consistently, not just hooking up. But there is typically no interest in pursuing deeper emotional bonds either.

Setting Expectations

When entering a sleeping only relationship, it's important for both parties to discuss expectations upfront. Trying to turn a casual sexual relationship into something more can lead to hurt feelings if the other person does not reciprocate. Topics to cover include:

• Are sleepovers or just late night hookups preferred?
• How often do we want to meet up?
• Is sex with others permitted, or is monogamy expected?
• Will we go on actual dates or strictly have sex?
• How much non-sexual communication will there be?
• Are either of us hoping this evolves into a committed relationship?

Starting with open and honest conversations helps prevent misunderstandings down the line. Periodic check-ins are also a good idea to make sure neither party's needs or priorities have changed.

Sleeping Only Relationship vs. Friends with Benefits

Sleeping only relationships differ from casual friends with benefits arrangements in some key ways:

• Sleepovers - Sleeping together frequently is expected, not just late night hookups.
• Non-Sexual Friendship - Little to no normal friendship or socializing occurs outside the bedroom.
• Consistency - Partners typically reconnect regularly, not just randomly when convenient.
• Emotional Connection - Cultivating deeper bonds or friendship is not a goal or priority.
• Communication - Contact is mainly for coordinating physical intimacy, not general chatting.

However, there can be overlap. Some friends with benefits situations evolve to include regular overnight stays. And some sleeping only relationships start off with people already friends first. The boundaries depend on what each party desires.

Pros of Sleeping Only Relationships

For some people, these casual sexual relationships can be appealing for reasons like:

• Fulfill physical needs without dating commitment.
• Provides companionship without having to build emotional connection.
• Can be lower-pressure way to enjoy intimacy after ending serious relationship.
• Allows focusing time/energy on other priorities like work or school.
• Gives freedom to change partners without guilt if bored or curious.
• Means always having someone available for sex and sleepovers.

When both partners' expectations align, sleeping only relationships can be a satisfying arrangement for being sexually active without having to carve out time for typical dating activities.

Cons of Sleeping Only Relationships

However, there are also some potential downsides to be aware of:

• Higher risk of STDs without monogamy.
• Possibility of one partner developing unreciprocated romantic feelings.
• Potential jealousy issues if non-monogamous.
• Can feel empty or unfulfilling over time without emotional intimacy.
• Requires separating sex from typical desire for affection/connection.
• Limits opportunities to meet someone interested in commitment.

Sleeping only relationships require the ability to enjoy physical intimacy without deeper emotional bonds. For those desiring love and stability, these casual arrangements may ultimately leave them unsatisfied.

Making Sleeping Only Relationships Work

If pursuing a sleeping only relationship, some strategies can help increase the chances of success:

Define Boundaries Early On

Clearly establishing boundaries right away prevents unrealistic expectations. Discuss if it's a monogamous arrangement, appropriate amounts of communication, and any off-limit relationship topics.

Keep Some Emotional Distance

Avoid sharing overly personal information, venting about problems, or discussing the future together. This helps keep things casusal without bonds growing deeper.

Limit Sleepovers Initially

Frequently staying the night together early on can rapidly push a sexual relationship towards greater intimacy. Build up to a regular sleepover schedule.

Don't Rely on Partner for Emotional Support

Turn to close friends and family when needing comfort, advice or reassurance - dont make your sleeping partner fill this emotional role.

Date Others If Non-Monogamous

If monogamy isn't required, continue dating and being social to fulfill emotional needs. Don't treat the sexual partner like a pseudo-boyfriend.

Keep Communications Flirty Yet Surface-Level

Avoid deep conversations and stick to flirty or logistical conversations to prevent unintended bonding.

Break Things Off If Feelings Arise

If either partner starts developing romantic feelings, it's best to take a break or end things to avoid emotional pain down the line.

Transitioning a Sexual Relationship into a Committed Partnership

In some cases, two people in a sleeping only arrangement may find they want to pursue a deeper, committed relationship together. Some tips for making this transition include:

Assess if Both People Share this Goal

Before altering the dynamics, honestly discuss if you both want to move beyond a casual sexual relationship into true dating.

Take Things Slowly

Don't rush into acting like an established couple. Ease into spending more quality time together and engaging in romantic date activities.

Build Up Emotional Intimacy Slowly

Gradually open up more about your feelings, families, interests, hopes and fears. Don't force vulnerability before ready.

Discuss Exclusivity Expectations

Decide if you want to be exclusive or still date others as you figure out compatibility for a serious relationship.

Limit Sleepovers Initially

Keep some distance in the early transition period to allow your connection to deepen beyond the physical.

Spend More Time Fully Clothed

Build friendship and engage in activities outside the bedroom to nurture emotional intimacy.

Assess Compatibility Before Committing

Make sure your goals, personalities, and lifestyles are aligned before progressing to an official committed relationship.

Setting Boundaries in Non-Committed Relationships

For any type of casual sexual relationship without commitment, keeping clear boundaries is essential. Some tips include:

Limit Sleepovers

Refrain from staying over too frequently, as sharing a bed often leads to bonding and blurring of relationship lines.

Keep Things Short and Sweet

Don't linger in bed all morning or spend whole days together. Keep encounters reasonably brief.

Limit Physical Affection

Keep kissing, hand-holding, cuddling, and lingering looks of passion to a minimum outside the bedroom.

No Implying Future Plans or Commitment

Avoid any talk about things youll do as a couple in the future or referring to them as your partner.

Dont Get Overly Personal

Keep hot and heavy topics like family, dreams, fears, politics, religion and more off limits.

Maintain Your Social Life

Dont let hookups crowd out time spent with friends, family and being socially active.

Date Others If Non-Monogamous

Pursue other romantic prospects to keep from relying solely on one sexual partner.

No Jealousy

If you agreed to an open relationship, dont get possessive when they pursue other sexual encounters.

Making a Friends with Benefits Relationship Work

If looking for something more than a one night stand but less than a committed relationship, a friends with benefits situation may be fitting. Some tips for making it succeed include:

Start with an Existing Friendship

Begin by hooking up with someone you already know and trust as a friend to build a foundation.

Discuss Boundaries in Advance

Clarify if youll be exclusive, how often youll hook up, what's off limits sexually, etc.

Keep a Balance of Friend and Benefits Interactions

Make sure your time together includes regular platonic friend activities, not just sexual meetups.

Limit Sleepovers

Refrain from staying over together too frequently, as it can make things feel like a relationship.

Date and Hook Up with Others

Pursue other romantic interests to avoid relying solely on each other for intimacy and companionship.

Communicate Openly

Check in occasionally to ensure you both still want the same type of casual, no-strings-attached dynamic.

End Things Maturely If Necessary

If either friend develops unreciprocated romantic feelings, have an honest, respectful discussion about ending the sexual part of your friendship.

Making a No Strings Attached Relationship Work

No strings attached relationships can take different forms, from friends with benefits to sex-focused partnerships. Strategies for making these casual relationship work well include:

Establish Shared Expectations

Be clear neither is seeking commitment before getting physically involved so you start on the same page.

Keep Sex Hot, Everything Else Surface-Level

Maintain passionate hookups but avoid emotionally intimate conversations to prevent bonding.

Limit Contact Between Hookups

Outside of coordinating meetups, refrain from constant messaging or checking in to keep things detached.

Dont Get Possessive

Dont act jealous or controlling since you arent in an exclusive romantic relationship.

Stay Independent

Keep up separate social lives and avoid relying on each other for companionship or support.

No Pet Names, Future Talk or PDA

Avoid terms of endearment, mentioning future plans or public displays of affection.

End Things Cleanly If Necessary

If catching feelings, have an honest dialogue about stopping the physical intimacy while maintaining friendship if possible.

Signs It's Time to End a Casual Sexual Relationship

Casual relationships often have a natural expiration date. Signs it may be time to end a sleeping only, friends with benefits or no strings attached situation include:

• Developing unreciprocated romantic feelings for the partner.
• Realizing you want a committed monogamous relationship.
• Feeling emotionally unsatisfied by the arrangement over time.
• A partner pushing to escalate intimacy or commitment.
• Wanting to pursue a new romantic interest.
• Fighting, jealousy or possessiveness arises.
• Sexual chemistry or interest starts fading.
• Life priorities changing, like starting a new career or going back to school.
• One partner moves away geographically.
• Catching feelings for someone new.

As soon as you recognize it's run its course, have an open discussion about ending the sexual relationship while preserving the friendship if possible.

Making the Transition from Casual to Committed

Turning a casual sexual relationship into a committed partnership requires care to ensure both people are on the same page. Tips for making this transition include:

Assessing if You Both Want More

Have an honest talk about whether you both see long-term relationship potential.

Shifting Focus to Emotional Intimacy

Spend more time building friendship through conversations, dates and activities.

Agreeing on Exclusivity

Decide whether you want to date each other exclusively before putting a girlfriend/boyfriend label on things.

Slowing Down Physically

Pull back on sexual intensity to avoid old dynamics and patterns.

Meeting Each Other's Friends and Family

Widen your worlds by integrating your support systems.

Communicating Your Needs

Discuss your relationship priorities, expectations and boundaries for the future.

Building Trust Over Time

Let confidence in the partnership deepen before going all in by saying I love you.

Making a Situationship into a Relationship

Elevating a loosely-defined situationship into something clearly committed takes patience and care. Ways to help the transition include:

Defining the Relationship

Have a frank talk about what you both want - keep things casual or get serious?

Sharing Your True Feelings

Open up about developing deeper romantic feelings if they arise.

Asking for Exclusivity

Decide if you want to date each other - and only each other - before using boyfriend/girlfriend labels.

Going on Real Dates

Start courting properly by planning romantic date activities, not just hooking up.

Meeting Important People

Take the next step by integrating each other into aspects of your regular lives and inner circles.

Making Future Plans

Talk about hopes and goals as a couple to envision your partnerships growth.

Building Emotional Intimacy

Have more vulnerable conversations to nurture feelings of trust, caring and closeness.

Making a Rebound Relationship into Something Real

Turning a rebound fling into a stable relationship requires moving past the initial thrill and assessing genuine compatibility. Strategies include:

Letting the Honeymoon Phase Pass

Enjoy the excitement but don't rush important commitments until your judgment is clear.

Discussing What You Both Want

Are you on the same page about desire for a serious relationship or just fun and distraction post-breakup?

Getting to Know Each Other's

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult with a healthcare professional before starting any new treatment regimen.