How to Support Someone After a Mastectomy Surgery

Understanding Mastectomy and How to Support Someone Who Has Had One

A mastectomy is a surgery that removes all or part of the breast tissue to treat or prevent breast cancer. It's a major procedure that can significantly impact a person emotionally and physically. If someone close to you has had or is preparing for a mastectomy, educating yourself on the proper terminology and learning how to best support them during recovery is important.

How to Pronounce Mastectomy

Mastectomy is pronounced "mas-tek-tuh-mee." Breaking it down into syllables, it would look like this:

• Mas - like mass
• Tec - like technology
• Tuh - a schwa sound, like the a in ago
• Mee - Like the pronoun me

So all together, "mas-tek-tuh-mee." Practice saying the full word a few times to get the pronunciation down.

Types of Mastectomies

There are several types of mastectomies that remove different amounts of breast tissue:

• Total (simple) mastectomy - Removes the entire breast along with the nipple, areola, and skin over the breast. Lymph nodes and muscle tissue is left intact.
• Modified radical mastectomy - Removes the entire breast, nipple, areola, and some axillary (underarm) lymph nodes. Chest muscle is left intact.
• Radical mastectomy - Most extensive surgery where the entire breast, chest muscles, axillary lymph nodes, and sometimes other nearby tissues are removed.
• Skin-sparing mastectomy - Removes all breast tissue but preserves the outer skin envelope that contained the breast for better reconstruction cosmesis.
• Nipple-sparing mastectomy - Similar to skin-sparing but preserves the nipple and areola skin as well, pending pathologic review of the tissue beneath them.

There are also less invasive surgical options that conserve more breast tissue, like a lumpectomy or partial mastectomy. The type recommended depends on the size and extent of the cancer.

What to Expect After Mastectomy Surgery

Recovering from a mastectomy is different for everyone, but there are some common physical and emotional experiences. Here's what someone can typically expect in the days and weeks following this major surgery:

• Pain and discomfort around the incision site(s)
• Drainage tubes to remove fluid buildup that need proper care
• Difficulty moving the arm and shoulder on the affected side
• Numbness around the chest/arm since nerves were cut
• Fatigue from the body working to heal itself
• Bandages and dressings over the surgery site
• An emotional grieving process over the loss of one or both breasts

Healing typically takes weeks or longer depending on the individual. Support from loved ones during this challenging recovery is extremely helpful.

What Not to Say to Someone After Mastectomy

While coming from a caring place, there are certain phrases and types of advice that can feel dismissive or hurtful to someone recovering from this life-altering surgery. Avoid saying:

• "Stay positive!" Invalidates normal grief over losing a part of one's body.
• "At least they caught it early." Dismisses the trauma of the cancer diagnosis and treatment.
• "You can get reconstructive surgery." Minimizes the mourning of losing her breasts.
• "Be strong." She doesn't have to always portray strength or hide vulnerability.
• "Everything happens for a reason." Implies her ordeal and loss was destined to happen.
• "You'll bounce back." Puts pressure on her healing on someone else's timeline.
• Unsolicited medical advice. Listen rather than offering your amateur diagnoses.

What to Say Instead to Someone After Mastectomy

Here are some supportive and caring phrases and actions to comfort a loved one recovering from a mastectomy instead:

• "I'm here to listen when you want to talk." Let her share freely without judgement.
• "What can I do to help you right now?" Offer tangible help running errands, cooking meals, etc.
• "You are so strong for coping with all this." Validate her inner resilience.
• "I admire your courage going through treatment." Encourage her fortitude.
• "Take all the time you need to heal." Remove pressure or expectation to recover quickly.
• "How are you taking care of yourself today?" Show you care about her needs.
• Send a supportive text or card. Thoughtful gestures mean a lot.

Practical Tips for Supporting Someone After Mastectomy

In addition to emotional support, lending a helping hand with daily activities can ease the recovery process immensely for a loved one post-mastectomy. Here are some practical tips:

Help With Meals and Nutrition

The powerful surgical medications and effort needed for the body to heal will likely cause fatigue and suppress appetite initially. Offer to grocery shop for nutritious easy-to-digest foods, prepare meals, or order takeout if cooking is difficult for them currently. Having healthy snacks and foods available will help the recovery process.

Drive Them to Medical Appointments

Transportation assistance to mastectomy post-op appointments and follow-ups like drain removal and checkups is extremely helpful. Their mobility and energy may be impacted in the early weeks after surgery. Offer to drive them or arrange for a car service if possible.

Assist With Incision Site Care

Depending on the type of mastectomy, there may be dressings, drainage tubes, or ointments that require regular change or application around the healing incision site. If comfortable, gently help them with these self-care tasks they cant easily reach themselves early on. Always get instructions from their care team on proper techniques.

Household Help

Daily chores like cleaning, pet care, yardwork, and laundry may be challenging initially, especially if complications like lymphedema arise. Offer to roll up your sleeves and help keep their home environment cared for if youre able while they recover. A clean, orderly environment eases stress as they rehabilitate.

Gift Ideas

If youd like to give them a caring gift, ideas include: soft button-down pajamas that are easy to get on/off, pillows or chair cushions for extra comfort, herbal teas, gift cards for food delivery or house cleaning services, or a soft blanket or throw.

Providing Emotional Support Long-Term

In addition to the initial recovery period after a mastectomy, women face lasting effects physically and emotionally. Be understanding if the journey feels ongoing, and continue providing compassionate support through:

• Continuing to check-in and lend an ear if she needs to talk
• Comforting on tough days like surgery anniversaries or follow-up test dates
• Accompanying them to reconstruction consultations if desired
• Marking milestones in their healing with celebration
• Reminders you admire their resilience when they feel discouraged
• Encouraging and making time for self-care

A mastectomy can profoundly impact a womans sense of femininity, self-esteem and quality of life. Your ongoing patience, empathy and understanding are invaluable gifts you can keep giving as she navigates her new normal after this life-changing surgery.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult with a healthcare professional before starting any new treatment regimen.