Should You Wake Someone Up From a Nightmare? When It's OK and When to Seek Help

Should You Wake Someone Up From a Nightmare?

We've all been there - tossing and turning in the midst of a terrible nightmare. You're being chased, falling, or finding yourself in some other kind of peril. Just when it seems like things can't get any worse, you jolt awake, heart pounding. Nightmares can be scary experiences, not just for children but for adults too. So what should you do if you notice your sleeping partner or child having a nightmare? Is it better to let them sleep through it or to gently wake them up?

What Are Nightmares?

Nightmares are dreams that bring out strong feelings of fear, terror, distress or anxiety. They feel vivid and real when experienced. Though the exact causes are unknown, nightmares seem to be influenced by stress, anxiety, medications, illness or trauma. They are most common in children but can happen at any age.

During a nightmare, the dreamer may cry out, thrash around or show signs of physiological arousal like increased heart rate and sweating. Most people wake up on their own but some may become trapped in the bad dream. Nightmares tend to happen during REM sleep, which is the stage when vivid dreaming occurs.

Should You Wake Someone From a Nightmare?

When you notice someone you care about having a nightmare, your natural instinct may be to wake them up. However, experts are divided on whether this is the right thing to do or not.

Here are some pros and cons to consider when deciding whether to wake someone up or let the nightmare run its course:

Reasons to Wake Someone Up

• Stop scary or distressing dream content
• Prevent physiological stress responses like increased heart rate
• Avoid injury if they thrash around violently
• Let them feel reassured and comforted sooner

Reasons Not to Wake Someone Up

• Allow natural progression through sleep cycles
• Permit dream to potentially resolve on its own
• Prevent disorientation or confusion upon waking
• No interruption of REM sleep stages

As you can see, there are reasonable arguments on both sides. Here are some additional factors to help guide your approach:

Consider the Person

Take into account the personality and needs of the individual. For instance, some people find nightmares very disturbing and want to be woken up. Others may prefer to sleep through them if possible. Know what their preference would be and honor it when you can.

Evaluate Level of Distress

Look at how agitated the person seems during the nightmare. Gentle moans or murmurs may not require intervention. However, someone who appears extremely upset, is crying or yelling, or at risk of injury may need to be awoken for their own well-being.

Remember Safety First

If the person could potentially hurt themselves or others with their physical actions during the nightmare, err on the side of caution and wake them up. You want to avoid any accidental injuries, so have safety be your top priority.

Consider Disruption Level

Determine if the nightmare is disruptive enough to warrant interruption. If the person will likely settle back into normal sleep on their own, let them be. But if they seem trapped in the bad dream or it persists, waking them up may minimize the disruption to their sleep schedule.

Pay Attention to Timing

Take note of when the nightmare occurs. If it happens early in the night, the person may have no trouble falling back asleep. But if it's close to when they would normally wake up anyway, you may opt to gently rouse them and start the day.

Make a Gentle Awakening

If you do decide to wake someone up, take measures to do so in a calm, compassionate manner. Avoid shaking or startling them, which could add to disorientation. Try softly calling their name and gently rubbing their back or arm to bring them around.

Provide Comfort and Reassurance

Regardless of when you wake someone up, be sure to provide comfort, reassurance and support when the nightmare is over. Talk through the dream and provide perspective that they are now awake and safe. This can help resolve anxiety or fear caused by the nightmares.

Coping With Frequent or Severe Nightmares

Occasional nightmares are normal, but recurring or very disturbing dreams may indicate an underlying problem. Here are some tips for helping yourself or a loved one cope with severe or frequent nightmares:

Look for Triggers

Try to identify potential triggers like stress, grief, illness or medication side effects. Taking steps to address the root cause can help minimize nightmares.

Practice Good Sleep Habits

Ensure adequate sleep, a relaxing bedtime routine and limiting pre-bedtime screen time. Good sleep hygiene reduces the likelihood of nightmares.

Consider Imagery Rehearsal Therapy

This research-backed treatment involves rehearsing positive versions of the nightmare content to overwrite the negative associations.

Explore Medications or Supplements

Certain medications like Prazosin may be prescribed in some cases for PTSD-associated nightmares. Some supplements like melatonin may also help.

Try Relaxation Techniques

Calming practices like meditation, deep breathing or yoga before bed can help lower nightmare incidence.

Manage Stress and Anxiety

Finding healthy ways to cope with daily stress can prevent it affecting your dreams. Adequate support, self-care and professional help if needed are key.

Know You Aren't Alone

Nightmares are very common, so don't feel embarrassed to talk about them with your doctor. Many effective treatments are available to give you peaceful sleep.

When Nightmares Indicate a Problem

In most cases, nightmares are just an occasional bother and don't signify any deeper issues. However, if they are frequent, persistent and causing distress, it may be a sign of an underlying condition that should be addressed. Talk to your doctor right away if you experience:

• Nightmares almost every night
• Losing sleep or feeling exhausted from nightmares
• Strong fear, anxiety or dread surrounding sleep
• Inability to distinguish dreams from reality
• Aggressive physical behavior during nightmares

Frequent nightmares can be associated with:

• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
• Medication side effects
• Substance abuse
• Depression or anxiety
• Sleep disorders like sleep apnea
• Other mental or physical health conditions

Seeking medical advice for chronic nightmares can help diagnose and treat any related illnesses. Short-term medication or counseling often helps relieve symptoms.

When to Seek Emergency Care

While nightmares are usually harmless, certain situations should receive prompt emergency medical care. Seek help right away if:

• You have thoughts of harming yourself or others
• You have strong, violent physical reactions that put safety at risk
• You have exceptionally vivid dreams that feel like reality
• Nightmares disrupt your ability to function or leave the house
• You experience hallucinations or delusions

Emergency psychiatric intervention may be needed to ensure safety and provide immediate treatment. Your doctor may recommend medications, hospitalization or intensive therapy for stabilization.

Don't Ignore Ongoing Nightmares

Frequent or frightening nightmares that impact your daily functioning demand a closer look. Ignoring them can allow poor sleep, fear and potential safety risks to continue unchecked. You deserve peaceful sleep and freedom from the fear caused by nightmares.

Get the compassionate care and relief you need by seeking medical advice. With some focused effort, you can overcome nightmares and restore restful slumber once again.

The Bottom Line

Waking someone up during a nightmare is a personal decision that requires balancing pros, cons and specific circumstances. Provide comfort regardless and address frequent nightmares promptly before they take a toll on mental and physical health. With some self-care and medical guidance, restful nights free of bad dreams are within your reach.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult with a healthcare professional before starting any new treatment regimen.