Embarking on the Journey of Life Together with Your Best Friends
They say friends are the family you choose. And when it comes to moving out and starting the next chapter of your life, who better to take that leap with than your very best friends?
Deciding to get a place and move in with your two lifelong BFFs can be equal parts thrilling and terrifying. On one hand, you get to live with your favorite people and make memories together. But on the other, its a big transition that will certainly have its challenges.
By going into it with commitment, communication, and compromise, sharing a space with friends can end up being an amazing, rewarding experience. Heres how to make moving out with your two best friends go as smoothly as possible.
Have a Serious Talk Beforehand
Before signing a lease or packing any boxes, have an open and honest discussion together. Outline your expectations, responsibilities, schedules, habits and ground rules so there are no surprises later. Talk finances, household duties, alone time, visitors, sharing items and space. Better to get it all out there proactively.
Pick the Right Place Together
Choose a living space that feels comfortable and suited to all of you. Walk through it together and make sure everyone is fully on board before signing. Think about things like size, number of bathrooms, neighborhood, amenities, and budget.
Split Costs Evenly and Fairly
Determine the total costs including rent, utilities, parking, wifi and figure out rent portions upfront. Will it be split 3 ways evenly? Based on room sizes? Have an agreed upon system for shared household expenses too so no one feels short-changed.
Define Shared and Personal Spaces
While youll likely share main living areas, discuss having some personal spaces too. Does each person want their own bedroom? To keep bathroom items separate? Identify what will be communal and what private to avoid boundary issues.
Coordinate Furnishings and Decor
Will you furnish from scratch together or bring your own existing pieces? Mix and match to create a space that reflects all of you. Compromise on paint colors, art, and other decor elements that suit everyones style so no one feels left out.
Respect Each Others Privacy and Boundaries
Knock before entering bedrooms, avoid moving or using things that arent yours without permission, and give friends space when requested. Being considerate of privacy keeps tensions low in close quarters.
Create a Cleaning Schedule
Split up chores like cleaning bathrooms, taking out trash, washing dishes etc. Having an established system prevents messes and arguments about them. But be flexible - pitch in when needed.
Coordinate Meals and Groceries
Meal planning, grocery shopping and cooking together saves money and brings you closer, but talk about food preferences, allergies and storage. Respect different diets and agree to replace communal groceries.
Compromise on Entertainment
Take turns picking movies or shows to watch together. Share streaming service logins. Compromise on music volume. Be inclusive of one anothers interests so no one feels isolated or ignored.
Agree on Guest Policies
Discuss overnight visitors, parties and gatherings. Be reasonable about frequency, noise levels and privacy. Give ample heads up if you plan to host. Make sure no one feels unwelcome in their own home.
Allow Personal Time and Space
While you want to bond, also allow each other alone time in bedrooms or out of the house. Introverts especially may need to recharge. Headphones are useful! Stay sensitive to when friends need space.
Check In Regularly
Have house meetings to touch base on issues and address conflicts before they escalate. Gently raise concerns and seek solutions together. Keep communicating; dont let resentment build up.
Share Chores Equally
A chore chart or rotation helps divide up tasks fairly so one person doesnt get stuck doing everything. But also pitch in when you see something needs doing without keeping score.
Compromise on Thermostat Settings
If one of you prefers a warm house and another likes it cool, aim for a middle temperature. Use fans, blankets and layers to adapt. Dont let thermostat wars brew.
Establish Quiet Hours
Agree on noise levels and quiet times, like when someone needs to study or sleep. Use headphones late at night or early morning. Try not to slam doors.
Respect Each Others Relationships
If one friend is dating, be inclusive of partners in hangouts and plans. Give the couple personal time too. Be happy for your friends happiness.
Make Time for Friend Dates
While its fun living together, also make time for intentional 1-on-1 friend time. Chat, go out to eat, watch movies together. Dont neglect your original friendship bond.
Dealing with Conflicts and Challenges
No matter how in sync you are, some conflicts and annoyances are inevitable when friends become roommates. Heres how to handle them:
Talk it Out Calmly
If something is bothering you, have a conversation rather than letting it fester. Bring it up gently when things are calm. Use I feel... statements to avoid placing blame.
Be Willing to Compromise
You wont see eye to eye on everything. Be flexible and find solutions that work for everyone, even if they arent your first choice. Compromise is key.
Respect Each Others Differences
You wont share all the same habits, schedules or values. That diversity is ok and even beneficial. Be tolerant of differences and sensitive to each other.
Allow Each Other to Vent
Let friends vent frustrations to you and vice versa without taking it personally. Be that listening ear when needed then move on. Dont hold grudges.
Apologize When Necessary
If you make a mistake or do something that bothers your friend, sincerely apologize. Dont be too proud to admit fault and make amends when needed.
Give Personal Space When Required
If tensions are high, take a breather in separate rooms. Politely disengage from heated discussions. Space can allow emotions to settle before revisiting issues.
Dont Take Sides
If two of you have a disagreement, dont put the third friend in the middle or force them to take sides. Work it out 1-on-1 and move forward.
Be Direct But Kind
Voice concerns coming from a place of caring. Use constructive language focused on resolution, not blame. Mix honesty with empathy.
Let Go of Petty Problems
Not every imperfection or annoyance needs to become a big issue. Agree to good-naturedly overlook minor bad habits or quirks.
Know When to Give Each Other Space
If tensions run high, or someone needs solo time, take a breather from each other when required. Absence can make the heart grow fonder.
Making it Last by Nurturing Your Friendship
While the logistics are important, dont forget to nurture the heart of your relationships too. Here are tips for maintaining a strong connection:
Check In Emotionally
Beyond surface talk, have real conversations. Share feelings, dreams, fears. Bond through deeper discussions. Offer each other emotional support.
Make Time for Quality Time
Get away just the three of you, free from distractions. Have adventures, try new things, make memories. Focus on your friendship.
Express Appreciation
Let each friend know why you value them. Send a sweet text to cheer them up. Show gratitude for their presence in your life.
Surprise Each Other
Make pancakes on a tough morning. Bring home their favorite ice cream as a treat. Delight each other with random acts of kindness.
Allow Each Other to Grow
Interests and priorities shift with time. Support each other through changes without growing apart. Growth leads to self-discovery.
Forgive Mistakes
No one is perfect. When mess ups happen, forgive sincerely. Dont dwell on each others flaws. Focus on the positive.
Share Secrets and Dreams
Deepen trust by opening up. Confide your secret wishes. Ask for advice pursuing passions. Feel safe being vulnerable.
Laugh Often
Inject humor and lightness whenever possible. Share inside jokes. Laugh through the ups and downs together. Joy strengthens bonds.
Lift Each Other Up
Compliment achievements. Hype each other up. Celebrate victories together, big and small. Mutual support motiviates.
At the end of the day, living well together comes down to a foundation of mutual understanding, compromise and caring. By embracing each others differences, respecting boundaries and nurturing your bond, sharing a home with your two best friends can be a beautiful, life-enriching choice. The memories you make will be ones youll cherish forever.
FAQs
How can we avoid conflict when living together?
Set ground rules upfront, respect each other's space and differences, communicate openly, and compromise. Don't let small issues become big fights.
What if we disagree on how to decorate or furnish the place?
Look for items you all agree on. Split up spaces with each person's style. Compromise on shared rooms. Mixing styles can be fun!
What if one person's significant other stays over a lot?
Discuss an agreeable amount of overnight guests upfront. Be inclusive but also respect the need for roommate time. Communicate if it becomes excessive.
Should we have a cleaning schedule?
Yes, a rotation for chores like dishes, laundry, bathrooms prevents buildup and arguments. But also clean up as you go and help out spontaneously.
How do we split groceries and other shared items?
Take turns buying household essentials. Split costs of items all use. Clarify what's shared vs personal. Replace communal items when finished.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult with a healthcare professional before starting any new treatment regimen.
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