Navigating Relationships When Both Partners are on the Autism Spectrum
Relationships require work and compromise from both partners. This becomes even more vital when both individuals have an autism spectrum disorder (ASD). While having shared traits can help with understanding, it also poses unique communication and sensory challenges.
Benefits of Dual Autistic Partners
Being on the spectrum themselves allows partners to deeply empathize with each others:
- Sensory sensitivities
- Need for routine
- Literal thinking and talking styles
- Special interests and info dumping tendencies
This innate comprehension can lead to less judgment and masking. There is also often strong loyalty and devotion in these neurodiverse relationships.
Challenges for Double ASD Couples
Despite upside, some major obstacles for dual ASD pairs include:
- Extreme difficulty with communication
- Rigid thinking and behavior
- Problems identifying emotions in self and partner
- Executive functioning gaps like planning, organizing
Without ongoing work, the same traits that join you can divide you. Patience and self-awareness are required by both parties.
Tips for Strengthening an ASD-ASD Relationship
Whether dating, cohabitating or married, the following methods help dual autistic couples build better bonds:
Learn Your and Your Partners Communication Styles
Get formally tested if unsure where you each fall on the spectrum. Knowing communication strengths and weaknesses is key.
Actively Listen
When your partner is speaking, set aside all distractions and focus entirely on comprehending them. Reflect back what you heard to confirm.
Make Requests Clearly and Calmly
Dont hint at or assume your partner knows what you want. Politely state your request providing context and reason to aid understanding.
Allow Processing Time
Conversation requires thinking and responses. Dont rush or repeat yourself. Silences are OK while your partner gathers thoughts.
Watch Nonverbal Cues
Note body language, facial expressions and tone of voice. Are they communicating something unspoken? Ask if unsure.
Coping With Key Relationship Challenges
Despite best efforts, even self-aware autistic couples will encounter hurdles. Some common issues and means of resolution include:
Impaired Perspective Taking
Both parties may struggle seeing things from their partners point of view at times. To help provide missing context, share how situations make you think and feel.
Emotional Identification Issues
Express clearly to each other when youre happy, sad or angry. Dont assume emotions are self-evident. Create a list of feelings with definitions if needed.
Sensory Overload Triggers
Collaborate on ways to prevent or calm episodes of overload. Have noise-cancelling headphones, weighted blankets and quiet spaces available.
Disjointed Household Management
Divide up chores clearly based on each persons abilities. Use calendars, reminders and checklists liberally to stay organized.
Special Interest Imbalances
Partners rarely share all interests. Dedicate time for both, while respecting each others solo enjoys and refraining from criticism.
Supporting Neurodiverse Long Term Love
All relationships require effort and adaptation. For autistic partners to stand the test of time:
- Commit fully to your shared journey together
- Celebrate how your neurological differences strengthen your bond
- Dont get complacent - continue developing self and partnership awareness
- Offer unwavering compassion, patience and understanding
While intense work, the incredible gift of finding your souls neurodiverse match makes each challenge surmountable. With clear communication, brutal honesty and forgiveness, an incredible life rich in purpose and love can flourish.
FAQs
What are some advantages of dating another autistic person?
Benefits include better understanding of sensitivities, thinking patterns, need for routine and special interests. There is also less masking and judgment required between autistic partners.
What struggles are common in ASD-ASD relationships?
Communication obstacles, rigidity, emotion identification gaps, executive functioning issues, and perspective taking challenges are common. However, these can be overcome with work.
How can an autistic couple best understand each other?
Get formally evaluated, learn personal communication styles and listen actively. Allow processing time during conversations. Also watch body language for unspoken cues.
What helps autistic romantic partners long-term?
Compassion, patience and unwavering commitment to your neurodiverse partner is key. Continually developing self and relationship awareness also nurtures bonds long-term.
Can two partners with ASD have a happy, lasting marriage?
Absolutely. Despite requiring more effort, clear communication, self-honesty, forgiveness and celebrating your neurological differences helps create incredible, purposeful love.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult with a healthcare professional before starting any new treatment regimen.
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