What Should I Talk to My Therapist About? Helpful Discussion Tips

What Should I Talk to My Therapist About? A Helpful Guide

Starting therapy can be an intimidating but rewarding step towards improving your mental health. You may be wondering what kinds of things you should talk about with your therapist. The short answer is - anything that's relevant to your reasons for seeking therapy. Read on for tips on getting started, setting goals, building trust, and maximizing each session.

Preparing for Your First Therapy Session

The first therapy session often involves getting to know your therapist, sharing your history, and identifying some goals. Here are some things to think about before that initial visit:

• What motivated you to pursue therapy at this time? Identify 1-2 main issues you want to focus on (e.g. anxiety, depression, relationship problems).
• Make a list of any major life events that still affect you today, like deaths, moves, health issues, or traumas.
• Note any mental health symptoms you experience, even if undiagnosed. For example, panic attacks, low mood, insomnia.
• List key personal details the therapist should know, including age, relationship status, family, job, living situation.
• Consider your lifestyle and if any parts relate to your reasons for therapy, like diet, exercise, substance use.
• Write down any medications, supplements, previous diagnoses or treatments tried.

Sharing this relevant background helps your therapist understand you and make an informed treatment plan. Be open about yourself while respecting your own boundaries and privacy.

Establishing Therapeutic Goals

An important early task in therapy is defining your goals. Consider:

• Long-term goals - What big picture things do you want to accomplish through therapy in the next months/years? For example, reducing anxiety, improving relationships, processing grief.
• Short-term goals - Smaller incremental goals that build towards the long-term aims. Like practicing mindfulness for anxiety, setting relational boundaries, or journaling about grief.
• Clarify priorities - What's most important to focus on right now? You may have several goals, but identify 1-2 top issues to concentrate on first.
• Be specific - Set quantifiable goals with details like frequency, duration or metrics to measure progress.

Checking in periodically about your goals ensures therapy continues meeting your needs. Goals may evolve over time as you heal.

Ongoing Therapy Discussion Topics

Once you've established background information and goals, regular therapy sessions involve discussing your mental health, progress and setbacks. Use each session as a chance to:

• Process thoughts/feelings - Share what's on your mind related to your goals, like anxiety about a work presentation.
• Discuss goal progress - Review accomplishments and challenges since your last session. Be honest.
• Identify triggers - Notice patterns around what worsens or improves your symptoms.
• Develop insights - With your therapist's help, gain new perspective on your behaviors, emotions and relationships.
• Problem-solve - Brainstorm and practice healthy ways to cope with stressful situations and symptoms.
• Report life updates - Share new developments in relationships, work, family, health that relate to your goals.

Voicing your innermost struggles can be difficult, but openness allows your therapist to fully support you.

Common Problems to Discuss

While everyone has unique goals for therapy, some frequent topics include:

• Anxiety - Discuss anxiety symptoms, triggers, ways you avoid anxiety, and how anxiety interferes with your life.
• Depression - Share depressive symptoms, contributing factors, and how depression prevents you from engaging in pleasurable activities.
• Trauma - Process past traumatic events when you feel ready. Explore resulting symptoms like flashbacks, detached feelings or hypervigilance.
• Grief/loss - Work through grief over deaths, ended relationships, health diagnoses, jobs or abilities lost. Discuss your feelings and coping methods.
• Relationships - Talk about relationship conflicts, patterns and skills. Consider all kinds, like romantic, family, co-worker and friend relationships.
• Self-esteem - Identify any negative self-talk and beliefs. Shift to more positive self-views over time.
• Major life changes - Adjusting to changes like divorce, new baby, empty nest, retirement or illness.
• Addictions - Discuss substance use disorders and behavioral addictions like gambling. Explore underlying issues fueling addictive behaviors.

You don't have to struggle alone. A therapist can help make sense of your challenges.

Maximizing Every Session

To get the most out of therapy, try to:

• Come prepared with a list of discussion topics and questions.
• Practice skills and techniques you've learned.
• Complete any homework assignments.
• Be open and honest - don't downplay your struggles.
• Ask your therapist for clarification if needed.
• Summarize progress and learnings before ending each session.

Sessions often flow conversationally. But having some structure helps ensure you work efficiently towards your goals each visit.

When to Seek a New Therapist

It's normal to hit some bumps with your therapist. But seek a new one if:

• You've given it several sessions, but still don't feel understood or comfortable.
• Their approach feels inappropriate or clashes with your values.
• You aren't making reasonable progress on goals.
• You experience inappropriate boundary crossing.
• Life changes mean you need a therapist with different expertise, like perinatal mood disorders.

A strong client-therapist bond is important. Don't hesitate to look elsewhere if the fit doesn't seem right.

When to Stop Therapy

There's no set duration for therapy. You may be ready to stop when:

• You've met your original goals and want to maintain progress independently.
• Your symptoms have stayed in remission for a significant period.
• You have the tools to manage challenges moving forward.
• Ongoing sessions feel stale and unproductive.
• You can't continue affording therapy's financial costs.

Discuss ending therapy with your provider to wind down appropriately. Most people benefit from occasional "booster" sessions too.

Alternative Options

If traditional talk therapy isn't working, consider:

• Online therapy - More affordable and convenient video sessions.
• Group therapy - Connect with others facing similar issues.
• Specialized approaches - Like CBT for anxiety or EMDR for trauma.
• Medication - For symptom relief alongside therapy.
• Intensive programs - Partial hospitalization or residential treatment.
• Support groups - Like Alcoholics Anonymous or grief support groups.
• Lifestyle changes - Improve sleep, nutrition, exercise as part of treatment.

Work with your therapist to find the right mix of therapies tailored to your needs.

The Takeaway

Therapy is most effective when you share openly about issues tied to your reasons for seeking help. It takes courage to discuss private struggles, but therapists provide judgment-free support. With time, therapy can lead to deep healing, new insights and lasting change.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult with a healthcare professional before starting any new treatment regimen.