Understanding the Difference Between Conceit and Narcissism
It's easy to confuse conceited and narcissistic behavior. Both involve an inflated sense of self and a preoccupation with oneself. However, there are distinct differences between conceit and narcissism that are important to understand.
Defining Conceit
Being conceited means having an excessively favorable opinion of oneself. A conceited person overestimates their own importance, abilities, appearance, or merits. Common characteristics of a conceited person include:
- Vanity and obsession over one's physical appearance
- Bragging about accomplishments or possessions
- Arrogance and a haughty attitude
- Feeling superior to others
- Craving compliments and attention
- Exaggerating skills or talents
While conceited behavior can be obnoxious and make relationships difficult, it does not usually cause significant life impairment on its own. Conceited people are often capable of basic empathy, insight, and authentic connection.
Defining Narcissism
Narcissism exists on a spectrum ranging from normal self-confidence to the extreme personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). NPD involves an impaired sense of self causes significant dysfunction in life and relationships. Those with full-blown NPD typically demonstrate:
- Grandiose sense of self-importance
- Preoccupation with fantasies of success, power, and attractiveness
- Strong belief they are special and should only associate with high-status people
- Need for excessive admiration
- Sense of entitlement to special treatment
- Willingness to exploit others to get what they want
- Arrogant, haughty behaviors
- Lack of empathy
- Envy of others and belief others envy them
In its extreme form, the self-absorption, entitlement, and lack of empathy that characterize NPD can make maintaining healthy relationships and gainful employment extremely difficult.
Key Differences Between Conceit and Narcissism
While conceit and narcissism have some overlap, there are notable differences between the two:
Sense of Self
The conceited have an inflated sense of self-importance and overestimate their qualities and abilities. Yet, deep down, they may feel insecure and rely on external praise and attention to boost their self-esteem.
Those with NPD have grandiose self-images not based in reality. Their egos are so inflated, they genuinely believe they are superior and special compared to others.
Empathy and Connection
While conceited people care first and foremost about themselves, they are still capable of basic empathy, insight into others' perspectives, and genuine human connection in some contexts.
On the other hand, those with NPD demonstrate a marked lack of empathy. They are unable to understand others' feelings and needs, nor do they care to try. Relationships are based on exploitation rather than mutual care.
Desire for Attention
Both conceited and narcissistic people crave attention and admiration. However, those who are conceited want praise, compliments, and to be noticed to help validate their self-perception and boost confidence.
People with NPD seek endless admiration and privilege to support their deluded sense of superiority. They become enraged if others do not treat them as special.
Self-Reflection
While conceited individuals lack self-awareness in many situations, they have some capacity for self-reflection. When motivated, they can gain insight into how their behaviors affect others.
Those with NPD lack the ability to reflect honestly on themselves. Their fragile egos prevent them from recognizing their flaws and considering others' perspectives.
Dealing with Criticism
When conceited people receive criticism, they may become upset, lash out defensively, minimize the feedback, or dispute it. However, criticism does not typically debilitate them.
Individuals with NPD react extremely negatively to criticism. They may rage, retaliate, or completely decompensate when confronted with any feedback that conflicts with their grandiose self-perception.
Causes of Conceit vs. Narcissism
Conceit often develops when children receive praise only for achievements, appearance, talent, or other external qualities rather than intrinsic qualities like effort and kindness. These children learn to derive their self-worth from applause and acclaim.
NPD stems from childhood abuse, neglect, overindulgence, or other circumstances that impair the development of healthy self-esteem and identity. Genetic factors may also play a role.
Risk Factors for NPD
Factors that put a person at increased risk for developing narcissistic personality disorder include:
- Childhood emotional abuse or neglect
- Excessive parental pampering or praise
- Unrealistic expectations from parents
- Trauma or abuse during childhood
- Having narcissistic parents
- Learned manipulative behaviors
- Brain abnormalities or mental disorders
Protective Factors Against NPD
On the other hand, factors that may help protect someone from developing narcissistic personality disorder include:
- Being raised in a stable, loving family
- Parents providing warmth as well as structure
- Developing social skills as a child
- Having interests and achievements not related to ego
- Receiving support during difficult times
- Being positively rewarded for exhibiting empathy
Treatment for Narcissism vs. Conceit
While a conceited person may simply need some life experience and self-reflection to gain perspective, narcissism exists on a spectrum and may require treatment. Some options for addressing narcissistic traits include:
Psychotherapy
Therapy provides a chance to understand the root causes of narcissism and learn new relationship habits. Cognitive behavioral therapy can teach identifying distorted thoughts. Other therapies foster self-awareness, empathy, and coping mechanisms for underlying shame or insecurity.
Medication
There are no medications that specifically treat NPD. However, psychiatrists may prescribe antidepressants, anti-anxiety drugs, or mood stabilizers to help manage related symptoms.
Peer Support Groups
Joining peer support groups provides community, accountability, and motivation to change narcissistic behaviors. Groups like Emotions Anonymous focus on healing and developing true self-esteem.
Lifestyle Changes
Making certain lifestyle adjustments can also help counteract narcissistic tendencies. Practices like mindfulness, meditation, volunteering, keeping a gratitude journal, and pursuing meaningful goals unrelated to ego can improve mental health and relationships.
Coping with Narcissism vs. Conceit in Relationships
It's understandably frustrating dealing with the self-absorption, entitlement, and lack of empathy common in narcissism. The following tips can help cope with a conceited or narcissistic partner, family member, or friend:
- Avoid flattering the person's ego with compliments or exceptional treatment.
- Do not expect true reciprocity or sensitivity. Have realistic expectations.
- Set healthy boundaries and clearly communicate your needs.
- Avoid arguments when the person is in a fragile emotional state.
- Maintain relationships separate from the narcissistic individual.
- Encourage counseling for deeper issues. Recommend peer support groups.
- Consider joining a support group yourself to share coping strategies.
Ultimately, it may be healthiest in some toxic relationships to practice detachment or keep interactions brief and superficial. For cases of extreme NPD, cutting off contact may be warranted, especially if the relationship turns abusive.
The Takeaway: Seeking Help for Narcissism
Conceit is characterized by vanity, arrogance, and excessive self-focus. But it does not necessarily constitute the personality disorder of narcissism. Full-blown, chronic narcissism signifies dysfunctional patterns that require professional treatment and lifestyle changes to manage. Seeking help enables healing past wounds, developing self-awareness and empathy, and leading a balanced life.
FAQs
What is the main difference between being conceited and narcissistic?
The key difference is that conceited people have an inflated ego and exaggerated sense of self, while narcissists have an impaired sense of self and lack empathy for others.
Can someone be both conceited and narcissistic?
Yes, it's possible for someone to exhibit both conceited behaviors, like vanity and arrogance, as well as narcissistic traits, like a sense of entitlement and lack of empathy.
Is narcissism a mental disorder?
Extreme narcissism to the point of dysfunction is classified as Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This mental health disorder involves an inflated sense of self, excessive need for admiration, and lack of empathy.
What causes someone to become narcissistic?
Narcissism often stems from childhood trauma, abuse, neglect, or having narcissistic parents. Genetic factors may also play a role in the development of narcissistic personality disorder.
How can you manage a relationship with a narcissistic person?
Set healthy boundaries, have realistic expectations, avoid feeding their ego with compliments or exceptional treatment, join a support group, and encourage the narcissistic person to seek professional help.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult with a healthcare professional before starting any new treatment regimen.
Add Comment