The Feeling of Waking Up Thinking of Someone
Waking up in the morning with someone special on your mind can be a powerful feeling. When you stir from sleep only to have thoughts of that person flooding back, it's a sign they've made quite an impression.
Waking up thinking of someone could mean you went to bed thinking of them too. Perhaps you were texting or chatting before falling asleep. Or maybe you find yourself daydreaming about them so much that thoughts of them simply spilled over into your unconscious mind.
Whatever the reason, waking up with them on your brain demonstrates they're occupying more mental real estate than usual. Let's explore some reasons why this might happen and what it might signify about the relationship.
It's a Crush
When you have a new crush, it's not uncommon for them to dominate your thoughts, both waking and sleeping. During the day, you might catch your mind wandering to replay your last interaction or imagine your next date. And at night, dreams of that person feel like a continuation of your conscious fantasizing.
So if you wake up thinking about your crush, it likely means you've really been bitten by the love bug. You have butterflies in your stomach and fireworks in your brain whenever you picture their smile. Waking up to thoughts of a new crush can be exciting, even if it disrupts your sleep.
It's Infatuation
Similarly, if you're in the throes of infatuation over someone, they're bound to be the first thing you think of when you open your eyes. The infatuation stage of a relationship is marked by intense feelings of attraction and desire. You might even feel a rush of adrenaline when you see a text from your infatuation.
During this phase, it's natural to end up thinking about the object of your affection 24/7. So waking up to thoughts of your infatuation points to excitement about the relationship and eagerness to deepen the connection.
You Miss Them
Perhaps the person occupying your morning thoughts is someone you're already dating or in a relationship with. If so, waking up thinking about them could mean you simply miss them.
Maybe work or other obligations have kept you apart for a stretch. Or maybe you just saw them the day before but already crave their company. Either way, waking up and wishing they were there is a sign you like and care for that person.
It's heartwarming to wake up missing your significant other — even if the feeling makes you momentarily sad not to see them. At least you know your heart is in the right place and your relationship is strong.
Why Do Thoughts of Someone Disrupt Sleep?
While waking up thinking about someone special can be romantic, it can also interrupt much-needed sleep. When you jolt awake with someone on your mind, it often means they invaded your slumber as well.
Ideally, sleep should be a time for your conscious mind and racing thoughts to take a backseat. But sometimes the excitement or anxiety over a relationship makes that difficult.
The Brain on Love
Scientists suggest the emotional and neurological chaos of new love can essentially hijack sleep patterns. Falling for someone new activates reward and motivation circuits in the brain.
Your dopamine levels spike whenever you receive a text or call from your crush or new partner. Adrenaline and cortisol also flood your system whenever you think of them. Together this chemical cocktail signalswakefulness and alertness — making sleep elusive.
Stress and Anxiety
A relationship can also stir up anxiety, preventing suffiient shut eye. You might stress about making a good impression on a new partner. Or fret over an argument with your steady boyfriend or girlfriend.
Turning these worries over and over activates your fight-or-flight nervous system, signalling your body to remain on high alert. This anxiety can persist at night too, spoiling sleep quality.
Even happy relationship thoughts can trigger enough stimulation or anticipation to disrupt sleep. Experts compare it to how excitement over an upcoming trip might make it tough to fall asleep the night before.
Loss of Boundaries
Relationship psychologist Chrisanna Northrup argues today's constant digital connection also plays a role. Partners text and chat over social media from morning tonight. With few boundaries, relationship thoughts and conversations invade downtime and sleep.
"We don't have the separation we used to have between our waking life and sleep life," says Northrup. This 24/7 contact with a love interest keeps them top of mind at bedtime. Getting a late night text or notification can also rouse internet checks that steal sleep.
Tips to Quiet Your Mind
Waking up thinking of your partner can be sweet —unless it's costing you much needed zzz's! If so, try these tips to set relationship worries aside and get better quality sleep:
Limit Pre-Bed Interactions
Give yourself some space before bed by limiting contact with your partner right before sleepy time. Switch off notifications and avoid stimulating conversations or arguments at least an hour before trying to sleep.
"This allows your mind and body to start powering down for sleep," says Northrup. Removing the possibility of pinging phones or late texts creates a separation between your pumping consciousness and sleep state.
Write Down Worries
If you find relationship thoughts or problems with your partner invading bedtime, put them on paper. Keep a notebook and pen nearby and jot down what's on your mind. List any worries, tasks, or reminders plaguing you.
The act of writing things down transfers them from your mind to the page. This clears your mental slate making it easier to fall asleep without those thoughts swirling.
Practice Calming Rituals
Implement relaxing rituals in the final hour before bed to trigger your body's wind-down systems. Shut off electronics and dim the lights to boost melatonin. Take a warm bath or do light yoga stretches to lower your heart rate and relax muscles.
Listen to calm music or meditative talks while allowing your mind to let go of the day. These rituals act as a buffer between waking life and sleep, allowing you to better compartmentalize relationship thoughts.
Remember the Positives
Sometimes relationship worries feel magnified at night. Shift perspective by reminding yourself of all the special, loving moments with your partner before drifting off.
"Focus on the good things about your relationship rather than the bad," says Northrup. "This puts you in a positive mindset so you have happy dreams and wake up on the right side of the relationship bed, so to speak."
Making Time to Sleep
At the end of the day, getting sufficient sleep is vital — no matter how exciting your new relationship might be. If waking up thinking of this special person becomes the norm, your mind clearly needs an overnight break.
"Enjoy the magic of a budding romance," says Northrup. "But be sure you're still sleeping enough to function your best. Falling behind on sleep will make everything seem worse."
Remember that relationships fluctuate and change. But depriving your body and mind of sleep takes a cumulative toll. So whether it's a new crush or long term love, set some nighttime boundaries. Limit pre-bed contact, write down thoughts, try calming rituals and remember the good times.
With these winding-down strategies, you'll give your relationship and your sleep pattern the attention they deserve. And you'll have energy to invest in that special someone when the sun comes up again!
FAQs
Why do I wake up thinking about my crush?
You likely wake up thinking about a crush because they occupied your thoughts before falling asleep. New romantic feelings activate reward centers in your brain, making it hard to get someone out of your head. Waking up to thoughts of a crush signals excitement about the potential relationship.
Is it normal to wake up thinking about my partner?
It's very normal to wake up thinking about a partner you love and care for. It could mean you simply miss them if you've been apart. However, frequent waking thoughts could suggest anxiety over the relationship that's interrupting sleep quality.
How do I stop relationship stress from affecting my sleep?
To keep relationship worries from ruining sleep, avoid emotional talks right before bed, write down thoughts to clear your head, practice relaxing rituals to wind down, and focus on the positives. Setting boundaries at night allows better sleep.
What should I do if waking up thinking of someone every day?
Frequently waking up with someone dominating your thoughts, whether from excitement or anxiety, can take a toll. Make enough time for self-care and sleep even early in a romance. If it persists, talk to your partner or a counselor about why this person consumes your mind.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult with a healthcare professional before starting any new treatment regimen.
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