When Love Turns Unhealthy: Getting Over Heartbreak and Obsession

When Love Takes a Toll on Your Health

Falling in love can make you feel like you're walking on air. The rush of euphoria, passion and desire can be intoxicating. But what happens when love not only fades, but turns sour? As the old saying goes, "all is fair in love and war" - and love definitely brings its own share of casualties.

The Agony of Lovesickness

Most people have experienced the feelings of lovesickness at some point. The yearning, longing and desire for a person can be exhilarating but also devastating when unreciprocated. In its most intense form, lovesickness is a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder. The person in love cannot stop thinking about their beloved and engaging in behaviors to try and win their affection.

Studies show that the regions of the brain that are activated during lovesickness are the same ones activated in those with substance abuse issues. In essence, love can be as addictive and destructive as any drug.

The Physical Symptoms

It's not called "heartache" for nothing. The emotional pain of love has very real physical manifestations. From changes in heart rate and blood pressure to insomnia, loss of appetite and panic attacks, lovesickness can have wide ranging effects on the body.

When separated from the beloved, the brain may even register withdrawal symptoms - chills, nausea, headaches - much like a drug addict going through detox. The body's physiology and chemistry is intrinsically tied to the mind's perception of and experience with love.

Mental and Emotional Anguish

While physical symptoms arise involuntarily, the psychological impacts of lovesickness bring their own fair share of suffering. The constant longing and angst over the beloved can lead to depression, anxiety, poor concentration and even suicidal ideation.

Feelings of anger, worthlessness and isolation are also common. Lost productivity at work, withdrawal from friends and family and a bleak outlook on the future are to be expected when stuck in the throes of lovesickness.

When Love Turns to Obsession

In its most destructive form, love can turn into an obsession. Known as erotomania or Love Addiction Disorder, the person relentlessly pursues their love interest, often harbouring the delusion that their affection is reciprocated.

This obsessive following can result in serious repercussions - damaged reputation, career setbacks, bankruptcy and even criminal charges in extreme cases. Seeking psychiatric help is crucial for both parties when love turns toxic.

Stalking and Harassment

Refusal to accept rejection can lead one down a dark path towards stalking their ex or unrequited love interest. Such individuals are unable to control their impulses towards harassment, endlessly calling or messaging the recipient and even physically tracking their movements.

Restraining orders may provide some protection but often fail to deter the obsessed. Counselling and medication are necessary to address the root insecurities driving such unwanted behaviour before things escalate towards violence.

Physical and Emotional Abuse

Unfortunately, intimate partner violence rises amongst couples undergoing separation. The despair over losing one's love combined with anger and distorted perceptions can result in lashing out.

This may begin emotionally through putdowns, insults or controlling behaviour but often escalates to physical abuse and assault. Both parties require interventions to avoid recurrent, retaliatory patterns that can even lead to murder-suicides.

Healing Your Broken Heart

The painful sting of heartbreak, betrayal or rejection in romance can cut deep. But with time and intentional self-care, you can mend the wounds and open yourself up to love again. Here are some top tips to nurse your broken heart back to wholeness:

Let Those Feelings Flow

Bottling up your emotions never ends well. Have a good cry, call up friends to vent your sorrow or find other cathartic outlets like journaling, music or art to help release the pent-up feelings.

Remove Painful Reminders

Having constant reminders of your ex will only rub salt in the wound. Remove photos, gifts and other memorabilia from your immediate environment. Also consider unfollowing or blocking them on social media to help you move forward.

Shift Your Perspective

Instead of endlessly mulling over what went wrong, try to reframe this as an opportunity to rediscover yourself, grow and explore life with new insight. Seek the silver linings - you now have space to nurture neglected friendships, pursuits and personal goals.

With self-care, time and patience, your heart will mend. And someday, you may even find someone who loves you in the thoughtful, healthy way you deserve. For now, be gentle with yourself - this too shall pass.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult with a healthcare professional before starting any new treatment regimen.