How to Stop & Name Emotions to Calm Yourself Instantly

Learning to Pause & Identify Emotions is Key to Self-Soothing

Feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, or anxious? In high-tension moments, it's crucial to resist acting on impulses driven by emotional distress. Instead, train yourself to stop, breathe slowly, and accurately name the emotions flooding your nervous system. Learning constructive ways to calm yourself down can help diffuse tense situations while reducing associated health risks.

Why Emotional Awareness Matters

Emotions serve an important biological function by preparing our bodies to respond to perceived threats and opportunities. However, problems emerge when we habitually try overriding or denying emotional experiences instead of addressing them skillfully.

Suppressed emotions accumulate over time, creating chronic stress taking a toll on mental and physical wellbeing. Bottling up angry, scared or sad feelings also makes future emotional regulation harder. In contrast, developing emotional intelligence skills like identifying and accepting all feelings in balanced ways lays the foundation for resilience.

Taking a Timeout is the First Step

When you notice anger, anxiety or other difficult emotions bubbling up, the very first thing to do is pause whatever you are doing. Declare a temporary "timeout" to interrupt your present thought patterns and avoid reacting automatically.

Stepping away momentarily from any heated conversations allows nervous system arousal to plateau instead of continuing to escalate. Creating space to collect your thoughts prevents saying or doing something counterproductive you might later regret.

If needed, take some deep belly breaths while giving yourself permission to delay responding until you feel calmer. Reassure yourself this timeout is simply a chance to process what is happening, not escape accountability for your role in the situation.

Get Curious About What You're Experiencing

Once you've paused rather than immediately reacting from distress, get inquisitive about your present emotional state. Silently ask yourself, "What am I feeling right now? Sad? Fearful? Frustrated?" Move through your body and notice any tense areas as another clue signaling suppressed tension.

Avoid vague descriptors like "bad" or "stressed". Drill down further to pinpoint the very specific emotion. Are you feeling irritated, disgusted, embarrassed, disappointed, or something else entirely? Do you feel multiple emotions simultaneously, like anger tinged with sadness?

If you aren't sure what you are experiencing beyond general upset, scan this list of feeling words organized by emotion family. Identify which descriptors best match your current emotional state.

Why Bother Naming Emotions?

Putting words to your precise feelings, rather than vague discomfort, is an act of emotional intelligence with tangible benefits:

• Labeling creates psychological distance to short-circuit reactivity
• Naming emotions channels them through reasoning parts of your brain
• Specificity develops greater self-awareness over time
• Slowing down builds skills managing future upsets
• Processing internally makes healthy expression easier later

Don't Judge Your Emotions

As you actively identify the emotion driving your reactions, be careful not to judge or dismiss what you feel as exaggerated or invalid. All emotions provide information highlighting what matters to you. Making space for the full spectrum of human experiences without shame or criticism is key to developing emotional agility.

Then Move Into Problem-Solving Mode

Once you've granted yourself grace and clarity about your inner emotional state, you can then pivot towards solutions. Ask yourself productive questions like:

• What unresolved needs might be fueling this emotion?
• Is there any new information I need before deciding how to act?
• Am I wrongly attributing intent where only impact matters?
• Are my judgments about this absolute or conditional?

Diffusing your own reactivity begins with separating raw feelings from ensuing actions. Allow time for emotion processing first. Then proceed to addressing external issues, having conversations or problem solving in collaborative rather than combative ways.

9 Strategies to Calm Your Nervous System

When emotions run high, utilizing healthy coping strategies can relax your body and mind, bringing equilibrium. Here are some go-to self-soothing practices to try when you need to calm yourself quickly.

1. Breathe Slowly

When the mind races under stress, purposefully slowing your breath signals safety to the brain and downshifts sympathetic nervous system activation. Try breathing in for a 5 count, pausing briefly, then exhaling slowly for 5 counts. Repeat until you achieve calm.

2. Splash Cold Water on Your Face & Neck

The mammalian dive response triggered by cold water literally cools hot emotions as it slows your heartbeat. Splash some cool water onto your face and back of neck, take some deep breaths, then use a paper towel to gently blot.

3. Go Outside for Fresh Air & Sunshine

Connecting with nature offers an instant emotional reset when you're feeling overwhelmed or powerless. Step outside right away if needed for some deep breaths of fresh air. If possible, tilt your face towards the sun and allow its warmth to soothe you.

4. Drink Cold Water Slowly

Staying hydrated is key for supporting nervous system regulation. Drink some cool, refreshing water slowly. Feel the liquid temperature chill hot emotions from the inside out. The deliberate action of sipping also helps anchor attention to the present.

5. Pet a Dog or Cat

Interacting with affectionate animals floods us with "feel good" oxytocin while lowering unhealthy stress hormones. If you have pets at home, spend a few moments petting them softly and receiving their comforting warmth.

6. Listen to Calming Music or Sounds

Soothing auditory inputs can wonderfully disrupt emotional escalation and relax your mind. Try closing your eyes while listening to gentle music, ocean waves, rainfall or meditation tracks. Allow the steady rhythms and vocalizations to guide your breathing.

7. Get Moving

When irritation, sadness or nervous energy builds up unused inside us, even mild physical activities can marvelously break tension. Take a short walk around your home or office, march deliberately in place, or try some safe stretches. Let momentum discharge emotional intensity.

8. Place a Cold Pack On Your Forehead, Chest or Neck

The physical sensation of cold against your skin triggers brain responses lowering heart rate and metabolism when distressed. Keep gel ice packs stored in your freezer specifically to place on pulse points during turmoil.

9. Use Calming Essential Oils

Scents entering our nose impact the olfactory nerve connected directly to emotion and memory centers of the brain. Invest in a premium diffuser and pure, therapeutic grade essential oils known to reduce stress. Some great calming scents are lavender, clary sage and bergamot.

Experiment to find which aromas you respond best to, then make diffusing part of your self-care wellness routine.

Identify & Process Emotions Fully to Create Lasting Resilience

Learning to tolerate emotional discomfort long enough to successfully self-soothe is a pivotal life skill. Arm yourself with plenty of go-to regulation practices so you can pull from your toolkit as needed. But remember step one is always pressing pause to buy yourself vital time shifting gears.

Only once your nervous system is downregulated should you move forward with addressing issues productively. Separate raw feelings from ensuing actions by making space to identify and process emotions fully first. Achieving lasting wellbeing and resilience requires granting yourself permission to feel the full range of human experiences - without judgment or suppression.

List of Feeling & Emotion Words to Help Identify Your Inner Experience

When you notice emotional discomfort yet have trouble pinpointing the precise feelings bubbling up, scan the categories below for descriptive words reflecting your inner state:

Words Describing Emotions

• Afraid
• Aggravated
• Agitated
• Alarmed
• Aloof
• Amused
• Angry
• Anguish
• Annoyed
• Antagonistic
• Anxious
• Apathetic
• Apologetic
• Apprehensive
• Aroused
• Ashamed
• Audacious
• Awed
• Awkward
• Bitter
• Blissful
• Bold
• Bored
• Brooding
• Calm
• Cautious
• Cheerful
• Cozy
• Crabby
• Cranky
• Cravings
• Crestfallen
• Cynical
• Dejected
• Delighted
• Depressed
• Despair
• Disappointed
• Disbelieving
• Disgusted
• Disinterested
• Distractible
• Distraught
• Distrustful
• Dread
• Dull
• Edgy
• Embarrassed
• Energetic
• Engaged
• Enraged
• Enthusiastic
• Envious
• Euphoric
• Exasperated
• Exhausted
• Fantastic
• Fatigued
• Fearful
• Ferocious
• Fiesty
• Flat
• Focused
• Frantic
• Frustrated
• Furious
• Giddy
• Gloomy
• Glum
• Grateful
• Grief
• Groggy
• Grumpy
• Guilty
• Happy
• Hesitant
• Hopeful
• Horrified
• Hostile
• Humiliated
• Hyper
• Hypnotized
• Hysterical
• Indifferent
• Inquisitive
• Insecure
• Inspired
• Interested
• Intimidated
• Irritated
• Isolated
• Jealous
• Jittery
• Jovial
• Joyful
• Jumpy
• Lackadaisical
• Lazy
• Lethargic
• Listless
• Livid
• Lonely
• Loved
• Loving
• Lustful
• Manic
• Mellow
• Miserable
• Moody
• Morose
• Mournful
• Nervous
• Numb
• Obsessed
• Offended
• Optimistic
• Outraged
• Overjoyed
• Overwhelmed
• Panicked
• Paranoid
• Peaceful
• Peeved
• Pensive
• Pessimistic
• Pissed off
• Playful
• Pleasure
• Powerful
• Protective
• Proud
• Quarrelsome
• Queasy
• Querulous
• Quiet
• Rage
• Regret
• Rejected
• Rejuvenated
• Relaxed
• Relieved
• Remorseful
• Restless
• Riled up
• Sad
• Sarcastic
• Satisfied
• Secure
• Serene
• Shame
• Shocked
• Shy
• Silly
• Sleepy
• Sluggish
• Somber
• Soothed
• Sorry
• Spiteful
• Stressed
• Strong
• Stunned
• Stupid
• Surprised
• Suspicious
• Sympathetic
• Tense
• Terrified
• Threatened
• Thrilled
• Timid
• Tired
• Tolerant
• Tranquil
• Trusting
• Uncomfortable
• Uneasy
• Unfocused
• Ungrateful
• Unhappy
• Unnerved
• Unworthy
• Upbeat
• Upset
• Uptight
• Vengeful
• Vigilant
• Vivacious
• Vulnerable
• Weak
• Wistful
• Withdrawn
• Wonder
• Worthless
• Wounded

When you notice difficult emotions arising, pause and scan this list to identify the precise feeling. Travel through the different categories, reading each word slowly until you find the one resonating as right. Putting specific language to your inner experience will help you process it constructively before taking action.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult with a healthcare professional before starting any new treatment regimen.