Why People Can Behave Inconsiderately
Inconsiderate behavior from others can be hugely frustrating. Whether it's a friend who constantly cancels plans or a coworker who eats your labeled food from the fridge, dealing with inconsiderate people can take an emotional toll.
They Lack Self-Awareness
Often, inconsiderate individuals simply lack self-awareness about how their actions affect others. They become so focused on their own needs and priorities that they forget to consider other perspectives.
"Self-absorption in all its forms kills empathy, let alone compassion. When we focus on ourselves, our world contracts as our problems and preoccupations loom large. But when we focus on others, our world expands." - Daniel Goleman
They Feel Entitled
In some cases, inconsiderate people have an inflated sense of entitlement. They believe their needs and desires should always come first, so they don't stop to think about inconveniencing others.
"Entitlement is such a huge thing. Everyone feels so entitled to everything all the time. When you're entitled and think you deserve so much, it makes you insensitive to others." - Maisie Williams
Lack of Consequences
People who exhibit chronic inconsiderate behavior often get away with it over and over. Without facing consequences for their actions, they have no reason to change their hurtful patterns.
"Discourteous behavior arises when people feel they can get away with being discourteous. Add consequences and the behavior tends to disappear." - Robert Greene
Why Inconsideration Damages Relationships
In any kind of relationship, consideration for each other is key. When one person behaves in inconsiderate ways, it breeds resentment and erodes trust over time. Here's why:
It Causes Emotional Hurt
Being on the receiving end of inconsiderate treatment causes feelings of sadness, anger, and confusion. It signals that the inconsiderate person doesn't truly care about your feelings or needs.
"Inconsiderate people are time burglars. They steal your time because they have no consideration for it." Kevin Darn
Erodes Trust
When someone continually puts their own priorities first without regard for you, it becomes difficult to trust them. You feel apprehensive relying on them for support.
"An inconsiderate act leaves a trail like a scar on the mind of the person at the receiving end." Aniruddha Sastikar
Harms Self Confidence
Being treated inconsiderately, especially by close friends or partners, can seriously damage your self-confidence. You may start questioning whether you deserve kindness and respect.
"Inconsiderate people are those who deliberately take advantage of others by putting their own interests first, with little or no regard for the feelings and needs of those being mistreated." Jayce O'Neal
How to Handle Rude and Insensitive People
When confronted by inconsiderate behavior, it's natural to get upset and angry. But reacting emotionally often does nothing to resolve the situation. Here are some healthier coping strategies:
Set Reasonable Expectations
Accept that the inconsiderate person is unlikely to change, at least not overnight. Manage your expectations about their behavior and don't expect sensitivity.
"My expectations from people are quite modest now. I expect them to be mean, inconsiderate and most of the time I am not disappointed." Ankita Singhal
Establish Healthy Boundaries
Make it clear you won't tolerate disrespect going forward. Outline specific behaviors that cross the line and consequences if boundaries get violated.
"Effective personal boundaries allow you to separate your emotional space from that of others by being clear on what behaviors you will and will not tolerate from them." Nedra Glover Tawwab
Limit Time Together
Cut back on one-on-one interactions with the inconsiderate offender to protect your mental health. Surround yourself with positive people who treat you with kindness.
"Surround yourself with considerate people who make you laugh and feed your soul. Once you feel the difference, it will become addictive." J.D. Oswald
Don't Take Things Personally
Remember that their behavior says more about them than you. While hurtful, their actions likely stem from underlying issues they need resolving.
"How people treat you is a reflection of them, not you. Be considerate anyway." TemitOpe Ibrahim
Cultivating Consideration for Others
Exhibiting consideration comes more naturally to some than others. But like any skill, it can also be learned and strengthened with practice. Here are positive steps for becoming more considerate of people in your life:
Make a Conscious Effort
Make considerateness a priority in your interactions. Intentionally check in on your actions to evaluate their impact on others.
"Being considerate of others will take your children further in life than any college degree." Marian Wright Edelman
Develop Empathy
Work on putting yourself in other people's shoes. Imagine how you might feel if treated the same way and let that guide your conduct.
"Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another, and feeling with the heart of another." Alfred Adler
Own Your Mistakes
When you slip up and do something inconsiderate, sincerely apologize and commit to doing better. Don't make excuses for hurtful behavior.
"The mature person becomes able to admit his shortcomings and take responsibility for them. He is able to apologize for hurtful deeds that happened and let go of them." David W. Earle
Give People Your Full Attention
Be present during conversations by removing distractions. Making eye contact and actively listening shows care and concern.
"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." Leo Buscaglia
In Closing
Learning to graciously handle insensitivity along with intentionally cultivating kind, conscientious behavior towards others serve us well. While we cannot force consideration from other people, we have full control over ourselves.
By leading with gentleness and patience, we can slowly influence those around us by example. In this way, seeds of empathy gradually spread through families, friend circles, and communities resulting in more compassion for all.
FAQs
Why do some people behave so inconsiderately?
Common reasons are lack of self-awareness, inflated sense of entitlement, and facing no consequences for hurtful actions. Their brains are wired to focus inward on their own needs.
What's the best way to handle an inconsiderate person?
Don't expect them to change. Establish firm boundaries surrounding behaviors you won't accept. Limit time together and surround yourself with kind people who uplift you.
How can being inconsiderate damage relationships?
Inconsiderate actions breed resentment and mistrust over time by causing emotional pain, eroding connection, and harming self-confidence of the recipient. It signals a lack of care.
Is it possible to become more considerate?
Yes, with conscious practice! Make empathy, self-awareness, owning mistakes and active listening priorities in your interactions. Leading with patience and compassion influences others.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult with a healthcare professional before starting any new treatment regimen.
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