Alternative Ways to Describe Someone Who is Self-Centered

Alternative Words and Phrases to Describe Someone Who is Self-Centered

Self-centered people can be frustrating to deal with. Their selfish words and actions often leave others feeling hurt, unappreciated, and ignored. Rather than using blunt terms like “self-centered,” “selfish,” or “narcissistic,” you may want to describe this type of behavior in a more tactful way. Here are some alternative words and phrases that can help you articulate someone’s self-centered tendencies with a little more nuance and understanding.

They Tend to Make Things “All About Them”

One way to diplomatically point out self-centered tendencies is to say that someone frequently makes things “all about them.” For example, “James always seems to turn the conversation back to himself” or “It’s hard to get equal airtime with Jessica because she makes most discussions all about her.” This phrasing highlights the self-focus without being too accusatory.

They Can Be “Self-Absorbed”

Describing someone as “self-absorbed” indicates they are excessively interested in and concerned about themselves. For instance, “Mark can come across as quite self-absorbed since he spends so much time talking about his hobbies and interests.” This term implies self-centeredness in a factual, observational way.

They Tend to “Monopolize Conversations”

Saying someone “monopolizes conversations” is a tactful way to point out their tendency to constantly steer discussions back to themselves. For example, “Lindsey has a habit of monopolizing conversations about her recent vacation.” This phrasing gets the point across without directly calling them “self-centered.”

They Are Often “Wrapped Up In Their Own World”

You can say someone seems “wrapped up in their own world” to indicate they are excessively focused on themselves and oblivious to others’ needs and perspectives. For instance, “Ryan has been wrapped up in his own world preparing for his triathlon.” This phrase implies self-focus in a gentle, non-confrontational way.

They Can Be “Self-Regarding”

“Self-regarding” is a polite term meaning primarily concerned with or attentive to one’s own interests. For example, “Julia can be quite self-regarding in group discussions by focusing only on topics that relate to her.” This term highlights self-interest without sounding too harsh.

How to Identify Self-Centered Behavior in Someone

Before labeling someone as self-centered, it helps to identify key behaviors that reflect this tendency objectively. Here are some signs that someone may be thought of as self-centered:

They Relate Everything Back to Themselves

Self-centered people tend to find ways to make unrelated conversations and events about them. For example, if you mention your chronic back pain, they may quickly start complaining about their own backache. Or if you get a promotion at work, they’ll find a way to shift the topic to their own career accomplishments.

They Seem Oblivious to Others’ Perspectives

Individuals who are self-focused tend to have a hard time seeing beyond their own worldview. Attempts to discuss how certain issues impact others outside their demographic or experiences may be met with indifference or ignorance from a self-centered person.

They Constantly Seek Attention and Compliments

Self-centered people often crave being the center of attention. They may commandeer conversations seeking validation and interest from others. Or they might “fish” for compliments by mentioning their skills, talents, relationships, or material possessions.

They Act Entitled and Privileged

Self-centered individuals may convey a sense of entitlement by demanding exceptions, special treatment, or privileges others do not receive. They believe rules shouldn’t apply to them and that their needs should always come first.

They Seem Hyper-Competitive

Many self-focused people constantly turn life into competitions and races. Conversations become about one-upping others’ accomplishments, experiences, knowledge, skills, possessions, or other traits.

They Take Advantage of People’s Kindness

A self-centered person’s lack of consideration for others means they often take people’s generosity for granted. This can look like chronic broken promises, disrespect for others’ time and efforts, and consistently prioritizing their own needs first.

Why Do Some People Behave in Self-Centered Ways?

While self-centeredness is often viewed negatively, in some cases, it may stem from underlying issues that breed insecurity, lack of self-awareness, and feelings of inadequacy. In certain contexts, self-focus can be a form of self-protection. Understanding potential root causes can help us extend more empathy and patience toward self-centered behaviors in others.

Insecurity and Lack of Self-Worth

People struggling with low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy may cope by compulsively talking about themselves or seeking validation from others. Beneath an egocentric shell may hide deep feelings of insecurity and lack of self-worth.

Limited Self-Awareness

Some individuals are simply not attuned to how their behaviors impact others. They may not realize when they are monopolizing a conversation, ignoring others’ perspectives, or excessively competing. Increased mindfulness and self-awareness can help address unintentional self-centered habits.

Disconnection from Community

When people do not feel meaningfully connected to others in their community, self-focus can become exaggerated as a form of self-preservation. Finding ways to increase a sense of belonging and mutual support can help reduce self-centered tendencies.

Early Life Experiences

Self-centered patterns often take root in childhood. Neglect, excessive pampering, volatile home environments, and insecure attachment styles with caregivers can all contribute to self-focused traits emerging later in life.

Personality Factors

Certain personality types are more prone to self-centered behaviors, like narcissistic personality disorder or anti-social personality disorder. In these cases, self-focus may be a pervasive and enduring personality pattern that requires professional help to change.

How to Set Limits with a Self-Centered Person

The self-focus of people with more extreme self-centered tendencies can take an emotional toll. While compassion is important, you also need to set healthy limits around acceptable behavior to protect your mental health. Here are some tips:

Communicate How Their Behavior Impacts You

Respectfully explain when someone’s self-centered patterns hurt you or cause frustration. Focus on tangible impacts like feeling ignored, unheard, or underappreciated.

Request Specific Change

Rather than venting, make actionable requests like, “I would appreciate if you didn’t interrupt me” or “Could you ask me more questions instead of only talking about yourself?” Be calm, direct, and consistent in enforcing boundaries.

Limit Exposure When Needed

You may need to reduce contact with highly self-centered people who routinely cross reasonable boundaries. Politely decline or end interactions that become excessively taxing.

Refocus Conversations Elsewhere

If someone steers a conversation back to themselves, redirect attention to other topics and participants. For example, “Jessica, what are your thoughts on this?” or “Let’s all share ideas on how to solve this problem.”

Seek Support From Others

Vent your frustrations to trusted confidants to maintain perspective and emotional equilibrium when dealing with a self-centered person long-term.

When to Seek Professional Help

In extreme cases, pervasive patterns of egocentrism, exploitation of others, lack of empathy, and sense of entitlement may signal a personality disorder. If self-centered behaviors become abusive or seem unchangeable through basic boundaries and communication, seeking professional mental health intervention may become necessary.

With more extreme manifestations, individual and/or family counseling can provide specialized support and skills for relating to the self-centered individual in a healthy way.

Learning to identify and articulate self-centered behaviors using alternatives like “self-absorbed,” “self-regarding,” or “monopolizing conversations” allows you to thoughtfully address difficult interpersonal dynamics. With increased understanding of root causes and mindful boundaries, it becomes possible to cultivate greater patience and compassion for both yourself and the self-focused person.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult with a healthcare professional before starting any new treatment regimen.