What to Do When Your Bipolar Partner Ignores You
Having a partner with bipolar disorder can be challenging. During periods of highs and lows, communication barriers may arise that lead to feelings of rejection. If your bipolar partner is ignoring you, it can be very hurtful.
But there are constructive ways you can respond when this happens that will benefit you both in the long run.
Understand Why It's Happening
First, it helps to understand some of the common reasons why those with bipolar may withdraw or stop communicating during mood episodes:
- Depression - Lack of energy, isolation, feeling unworthy of love
- Irritability - Easily annoyed, short temper, hypersensitive
- Mania - Impulsivity, hyperactivity, rapid thoughts
- Confusion - Jumbled thoughts, concentration problems, memory issues
- Shame - Embarrassment over behavior during mood episodes
Recognizing that being ignored likely isn't personal but rather a symptom of your partner's condition can help you respond in a more constructive manner.
Give Them Space and Time
It's understandable that your first reaction may be to keep reaching out when your partner stops communicating with you. However, this could have the opposite effect when bipolar is involved.
Instead of bombarding them with messages or demands to talk, give them space for a little while. Let them know you care and are available whenever they feel up to talking again.
Making demands risks worsening mood symptoms during vulnerable periods. Have patience and let them come to you when ready.
Ask Directly but Gently
After some time has passed, if your partner is still not communicating, you can gently check in and ask if they need some space or if there's anything you can do to help.
Avoid accusatory language about being ignored. Using "I feel..." statements can help express your concern without blaming.
For example, "I feel a bit disconnected from you lately and want to make sure everything is okay. Do you need more space or can we set aside some time to catch up soon?"
Suggest Smaller Interactions
Full conversations may feel too overwhelming during mood episodes. Suggest more manageable ways to stay connected like sending memes or funny videos.
Let them know you are available for shorter interactions if that would help, like taking a quick walk together or cooking a simple meal side-by-side.
Smaller chances to engage may help ease them back into more frequent communication over time.
Encourage Professional Help
If your partner seems unable to communicate for an extended period and it is severely impacting your relationship, sensitively suggest they seek professional help.
A combination of medication and therapy is often crucial for managing bipolar disorder. But many struggle to stick with treatment plans long-term.
Offer to accompany them to appointments or provide emotional support. Don't force treatment but let them know you care about their wellbeing.
Set Healthy Boundaries
Creating some healthy boundaries can also help take strain off the relationship during difficult periods.
You may choose to set some expectations around communication, such as agreeing to check-in once daily even during low points. Or take a short break from the relationship if needed.
Boundaries demonstrate self-respect while also giving your partner space to manage their health. Discuss these when you are both in a stable place, not mid-conflict.
Join a Support Group
Connecting with others who understand your situation can provide enormous relief. Local and online support groups for loved ones of people with bipolar are available.
Group meetings or forums allow you to openly discuss relationship challenges and get support from people going through similar experiences.
Feeling less alone makes difficult periods in your relationship easier to endure.
Coping with Feelings of Rejection
When your bipolar partner ignores you or withdraws, it is normal to take it personally and feel rejected or abandoned.
Here are some tips for dealing with these emotional responses in a healthy way:
Validate Your Feelings
Don't ignore or suppress your hurt feelings. Acknowledge you have been affected and allow yourself to feel and process the emotions.
Journaling, talking with a friend or expressing your feelings through art or music can all help. Avoid destructive responses like substance use or isolation.
Adjust Expectations
Remember that your partner's ability to communicate and reciprocate will fluctuate. Adjust your expectations accordingly rather than holding them to unrealistic standards.
During periods of highs and lows, focus more on providing support than receiving it. Balance outgive and take during stable periods.
Practice Self-Care
Make sure you are not neglecting your own needs. Spend time doing activities that bring you joy, connect with loved ones and do things to care for your mental health.
Burnout is common when supporting someone with bipolar. Prioritizing self-care protects your emotional reserves.
Seek Your Own Therapy
A therapist trained in bipolar relationships can help you process feelings of hurt or rejection and develop coping strategies.
Having impartial support helps you avoid directing negative feelings at your partner during vulnerable times.
Forgive And Move Forward
Once your partner has come through the mood episode, try to forgive their lack of communication and move forward. Holding on to resentment will only breed more distance.
Of course repeated rejection without amends may require re-evaluating your romantic compatibility long-term.
Creating a Supportive Environment
While you can't control your partner's symptoms, you can make changes in your relationship to foster greater stability:
Educate Yourself
Learning all you can about bipolar gives insight into what your partner experiences. It enables you to identify triggers, recognize warning signs early and respond in ways that help, not hurt.
Books, reputable websites and support groups are great education resources.
Express Love And Appreciation
Frequently reminding your partner you care and are there for them provides comfort. Small gestures like a sweet note, compliment or huggedo a lot.
Appreciate effort made during periods of wellness. Don't take stability for granted.
Establish A Routine
Consistency in sleep, meal times, medication and daily rhythms helps regulate mood. Collaborate on a reasonable routine and support your partner in sticking to it.
Gently re-direct tangents that could throw off the routine and cause destabilization.
Watch For Triggers
Learn your partner's triggers like relationship conflict, work stress, lack of sleep or alcohol use. Help avoid or minimize these.
If you notice early signs a trigger is affecting them, address it gently. Don't ignore escalating symptoms.
Promote Treatment Adherence
Medication, therapy and healthy lifestyle choices are key to managing bipolar long-term. Motivate and encourage your partner to keep up with treatment plans.
Provide practical support like helping with appointments, medication reminders and nutrition.
When to Seek Outside Help
While you play an important role as a partner, you cannot substitute for professional mental health support.
Urge your loved one to seek help if:
- Mood symptoms are severe and/or escalating rapidly
- They mention any suicidal thoughts
- Manic behaviors could lead to danger or legal issues
- Psychosis symptoms like delusions or hallucinations appear
- They talk about harming themselves or others
- Treatment is disrupted for lengthy periods
In emergency situations, call 911 or relevant local services. Ongoing medical guidance maximizes stability in bipolar relationships.
The Importance of Patience And Self-Care
Caring for someone with bipolar disorder often requires deep reserves of patience during unpredictable mood swings. Frequent rejection or lack of communication can strain even the strongest relationships over time.
Practicing consistent self-care, utilizing your support system and drawing boundaries will help you manage periods when your partner withdraws or ignores you.
With compassion, education, professional support and realistic expectations, it is possible to foster a healthy, loving relationship when bipolar is involved.
FAQs
Why does my bipolar partner ignore me?
A bipolar partner may ignore you or withdraw during depressive, manic, irritable or confused mood states. It's often a symptom of their condition rather than a personal slight.
What should you not say to a bipolar person?
Avoid accusatory, judgmental, insensitive, or demanding comments. Don't tell them to "snap out of it" or "get over it". Use empathy, validation and encouragement instead.
How do you calm down a bipolar person?
Strategies to help calm a bipolar person include: speak gently, encourage deep breathing, suggest a quiet space, distraction with a movie or music, positive encouragement, and asking what would help most.
What are bipolar triggers?
Common triggers for bipolar mood episodes include: relationship conflicts, work stress, lack of sleep, drug use, missing medication, seasonal changes, and major life changes.
How can you help a bipolar relationship?
Ways to help a bipolar relationship include: education, communication, sensitivity, establishing a routine, promoting treatment adherence, respecting boundaries, and seeking support or counseling as needed.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult with a healthcare professional before starting any new treatment regimen.
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