The Meaning and Harm of the 'When Men Get Sick' Meme

The Origin and Meaning of the "When Men Get Sick" Meme

A popular internet meme pokes fun at how men dramatize getting sick compared to women. The meme typically shows two panels - one with a woman looking slightly unwell but carrying on with her day, and one with a man collapsed on a couch looking miserable. What's behind this meme about how men react to illness?

Stereotypes of "Man Flu"

The meme plays off the concept of "man flu" - a tongue-in-cheek term for the perception that men exaggerate the severity of relatively minor illnesses. According to the stereotype, when men get sick, they act completely incapacitated even with mild symptoms. On the other hand, women are depicted as being able to power through sickness and still take care of their responsibilities.

Some common assumptions behind the "when men get sick" meme:

• Men become helpless and childlike when sick
• Women have higher pain tolerance and don't complain as much about illness
• Women have no choice but to push through sickness and can't rest

Origins in Gender Stereotypes

These assumptions tie into long-running gender stereotypes that women are caregivers who must persist through pain and illness, while men are portrayed as less resilient. The meme also plays into notions that women have higher pain tolerance due to childbirth.

Some researchers argue these stereotypes originate from portrayals of stoic mothers caring for families without complaint, while fathers give in to illness. The "man flu" notion reinforces societal views of masculinity as avoidant of vulnerability.

Spreading Online

The meme grew popular online in the early 2010s and took off on social platforms like Reddit, Twitter and Tumblr. People shared relatable stories of men in their lives becoming helpless when sick while the women kept everything running.

Many women found humor in the meme as a way to vent about unpaid labor expectations. However, others criticized the meme for potentially discouraging men from seeking care when ill and mocking male vulnerability.

Examining the Gender Differences in Experiences of Illness

While the "when men get sick" meme plays off exaggerated stereotypes, research has found some actual differences in how men and women experience and handle illness.

Biological Factors

Studies suggest biological factors may contribute to men feeling sicker from some illnesses, such as:

• Weaker immune response to viruses
• Higher susceptibility to bacterial, viral and parasitic infections
• Slower recovery times from illness

Hormones like testosterone and estrogen may influence immune function. Men also tend to have more comorbid conditions like heart disease that compound infections.

Pain Sensitivity

Research on pain tolerance is mixed. Some studies show women have higher pain thresholds for certain stimuli. However, other studies show men and women have similar pain sensitivity but that women are more willing to report pain.

Illness Behavior

Social factors may drive some gender differences in illness attitudes and behavior:

• Women more often retain responsibility for household and childcare duties when sick
• Men have higher healthcare utilization rates for some conditions
• Women more often try to hide pain and illness to appear strong

But individuals show great variation - gender roles don't define universal experiences of sickness.

Mental Health Factors

Mental health may also contribute to men reporting feeling more severe impacts of illness, such as:

• Less social/emotional support when sick
• Higher rates of loneliness and isolation
• Socialization to avoid appearing weak leading to distress when sick

These factors can amplify subjective feelings of illness without biological differences.

The Damage of Gender Stereotypes About Illness

While trends in how men and women handle sickness exist, the "when men get sick" meme takes these differences to an extreme:

Trivializing Women's Pain

Implying women easily shrug off illness can lead to women's pain being underestimated or ignored. In reality, women often push through illness out of necessity, not choice.

Mocking Male Vulnerability

Making light of men struggling with illness promotes harmful masculinity norms that deter men from addressing health problems. This can cause conditions to worsen before seeking help.

Discouraging Rest and Care

Framing rest and recuperation as weak or dramatized behavior leads to inadequate care and recovery times. Everyone deserves healing, no matter their gender.

Reducing Empathy

Joking about exaggerated illness decreases empathy for those truly experiencing severe symptoms. Illness should be met with compassion, not mockery.

Rather than pitting gendered stereotypes against each other, it’s important to recognize the subjective nature of illness among all individuals.

Steps for Coping with Illness in a Healthy Way

To move past gender stereotypes and promote well-being when sick, consider:

Taking All Illness Seriously

Avoid diminishing anyone's symptoms. Believe and validate each other's health experiences without judgment about exaggeration.

Communicating Needs Clearly

Articulate what you require when sick - physical comfort, medical care, time off, etc. - so needs are understood.

Sharing Caretaking Responsibilities

Ensure illness caretaking like childcare, meal prep and cleaning are equitably divided, not defaulted to women.

Providing Emotional Support

Check in on each other's mental health when sick. Illness can bring up feelings of sadness, anxiety and isolation.

Allowing Rest and Recovery

Give yourselves permission to fully rest and heal without pressure to push through illness.

Seeking Medical Care When Needed

Consult doctors for guidance on caring for any severe or prolonged illnesses.

Getting sick affects everyone differently. By providing compassionate care and avoiding gender assumptions, we can support each other through illness as equals.

Signs of a Toxic Relationship and How to Cope

While the "when men get sick" meme exaggerates gender differences, it's important to be able to recognize when relationships turn unhealthy. Here are signs of a toxic relationship and tips for coping:

Red Flags of a Toxic Relationship

Look out for these patterns in a romantic, platonic or familial relationship:

• Controlling behavior - Trying to control your actions, friendships, finances or other aspects of your life
• Constant criticism - Always finding faults and putting you down
• Possessiveness - Acting jealous and paranoid
• Volatility - Prone to angry, scary outbursts
• Manipulation - Using guilt trips, lying, withholding affection
• Dishonesty - Lying, cheating, hiding things from you
• Disrespect - Acting rudely, name-calling, mocking you
• Unreliability - Can't be counted on or trusted

Steps for Coping with a Toxic Relationship

If you see these red flags, some tips include:

1. Acknowledge it's toxic - Admit there's an unhealthy pattern.
2. Set boundaries - Decide what behaviors you won't tolerate.
3. Seek support - Turn to trusted friends, family or support groups.
4. Communicate - Respectfully address issues and request concrete change.
5. Walk away if needed - If they won't change, leaving may be healthiest.
6. Practice self-care - Make your well-being a priority.
7. Try counseling - Work through lingering impacts with a therapist.

Ending or limiting contact with toxic people may be difficult but necessary. Surround yourself with positive influences.

Getting Help for an Abusive Relationship

If toxicity turns into abuse - emotional, verbal, physical, sexual or financial - it's critical to get help safely ending the relationship. Contact domestic violence resources like:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline: https://www.thehotline.org/
• National Sexual Assault Hotline: https://www.rainn.org/
• Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: https://www.childhelp.org/childhelp-hotline/

You deserve to feel safe, heard and cared for in all your relationships. Help is available.

The Takeaway

The "when men get sick" meme relies on exaggerated gender stereotypes for humor. However, biological and social factors can influence differences in how men and women experience illness. It's important not to trivialize anyone's suffering. With empathy and equitable caretaking, we can support each other through sickness without harmful assumptions.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult with a healthcare professional before starting any new treatment regimen.