What to Text Someone Having a Panic Attack - Supportive Messaging Tips

What to Text Someone Having a Panic Attack - Supportive Messaging Tips
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What to Say to Someone Having a Panic Attack Over Text

Panic attacks can be terrifying events where a flood of intense fear and anxiety strikes suddenly and without warning. When someone you care about experiences a panic attack, you naturally want to help them through it.

But panic attacks often happen at inopportune times when you arent there in person. So what should you say to someone having a panic attack if you can only communicate via text?

While you cant provide physical comfort and reassurance over text, the right words can still provide vital support. approached thoughtfully, texting can be an effective way to help guide someone through a panic attack.

Understanding Panic Attacks

Before advising what to text someone during a panic attack, it helps to understand what exactly happens during these anxiety episodes. Panic attacks involve sudden surges of intense fear, discomfort, anxiety and stress that reach a peak within minutes.

During a panic attack, the body goes into fight-or-flight mode, flooding with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. This causes physical symptoms like:

  • Racing heartbeat
  • Hyperventilation
  • Sweating
  • Trembling
  • Dizziness

The mind also races with anxious thoughts centered on fear of losing control, impending doom and danger. These mental and physical symptoms combine to make panic attacks highly distressing events.

Why Texting Can Help

When someone close to you suffers a panic attack, your first instinct is likely to want to call them. But a phone call isnt always the best option during an anxiety episode.

The heightened stress state makes it difficult to process complex auditory information during a panic attack. Trying to listen and respond to spoken conversation can actually heighten feelings of being overwhelmed.

Texting provides a simpler way to communicate critical support in a digestible written format. The person panicking can read and re-read your messages at their own pace.

Texting also gives you both time to craft thoughtful responses explaining how you feel and what you want to get across. This results in clearer, calmer communication versus frantic back-and-forth speaking.

Dos and Donts of Supporting Someone Over Text

When someone you care about texts you that theyre having a panic attack, you want to respond in a way that makes them feel supported and helps minimize anxiety levels. Follow these dos and donts to provide effective support via text:

Don't Make Assumptions

Dont assume you know exactly what theyre going through or make light of their experience. Everyone experiences panic attacks differently, so avoid invalidating language that presumes you understand all their specific symptoms and feelings.

Do Ask Questions

Do ask how you can be most helpful and if there is anything specific they need from you. Open-ended questions allow them to explain whats happening and how you can support them.

Don't Overwhelm with Advice

Dont overload them with advice or suggestions unless directly asked. Well meaning advice like just breathe can feel dismissive. The priority is making them feel heard.

Do Express Empathy

Do express empathy and validation by acknowledging their feelings. Im so sorry youre going through this reminds them you take their distress seriously.

Don't Stop Responding

Dont cease communication without warning. This can heighten abandonment fears. If you must leave the conversation, explain why and reassure youll check back in soon.

Do Provide Reassurance

Do provide reassurance that what theyre experiencing is temporary and panic attacks always pass. Kind reminders that this too shall pass can be very comforting.

Strategies to Help Guide Them Through a Panic Attack

While everyone experiences panic attacks differently, there are some common texting strategies that can help guide most people through an anxiety episode in a calming way:

Encourage Slow Breathing

Many panic attack symptoms stem from rapid, shallow breathing in response to anxiety. Encourage them to slow their breathing down, which can help lower panic levels. Provide specific guidance like suggesting they breathe in for 4 counts, hold for 2 counts and breathe out for 6 counts.

Suggest Grounding Activities

Guiding their focus towards sensory-based activities can serve as distraction techniques to redirect their attention from anxious thoughts. Suggest listening to a soothing song, looking out the window to describe what they see, or holding an ice cube to focus on the cold sensation.

Help Identify Triggers

Once the panic attack episode has passed, you can help them reflect on any potential triggers that may have sparked the attack, like a stressful event or thought pattern. This builds self-awareness so those triggers can be better managed in the future.

Discuss Coping Strategies

Talk through ideas for helpful coping strategies to manage panic attacks, and ask if theyve learned any techniques in therapy that could help. This might include guided meditation apps, mindfulness exercises or taking prescribed medication at onset of symptoms.

Provide Distraction

Especially during the peak intensity of an attack, providing distraction through lighthearted conversation about neutral topics can help divert their focus away from the anxiety. Share random observations, funny stories or news about common friends and interests.

When To Suggest Calling or Meeting In-Person

While texting is often the most practical form of communication during a panic attack, there are certain situations where speaking verbally over the phone or meeting in person may become necessary. Here are some scenarios where you may want to suggest calling or meeting up:

  • The panic attack lasts for over 20 minutes with no signs of improvement.
  • Their texts suggest they may be at risk of harming themselves or others.
  • They ask you to call or expressed a desire for in-person support.
  • The situation begins to feel beyond your ability to handle through text.

Use your own judgement when deciding if its best to transition from texting to a phone or in-person conversation. The most important thing is making sure they feel supported.

When to Suggest Seeking Professional Help

You play a key supporting role, but your text messages cant replace professional mental health guidance. Suggest seeking help from a therapist, psychiatrist, or doctor if:

  • Attacks seem to be worsening or increasing in frequency.
  • Existing treatment like medication or therapy seems ineffective.
  • Suicidal thoughts are mentioned or self-harm seems likely.
  • Panic attack symptoms don't fully subside on their own after 30 minutes or more.
  • They have difficulty implementing the coping strategies you suggest.

A combination of professional treatment and support from caring friends and family is ideal for overcoming panic attacks.

What to Say After a Panic Attack

The way you communicate with them in the aftermath of a panic attack also matters. Heres guidance on providing ongoing support after an anxiety episode subsides:

Check In on Their Mental State

Ask how theyre feeling now that some time has passed since the panic attack. See if they need any further emotional support. Anxiety and sadness may linger even once the panic has diminished.

Discuss Self-Care

Suggest and encourage little acts of self-care to continue calming their nervous system, like taking a warm shower, reading, or listening to a guided meditation.

Express Your Care

Verbalize how much you care about them and that youll always be there to listen and provide support when anxiety strikes.

Help Identify Comforting Activities

Talk through activities and hobbies they find comforting and grounding. This might include exercise like yoga, creative outlets like writing in a journal, or time outside in nature.

Normalize the Experience

Note that panic attacks are very common experiences. Remind them that having occasional attacks doesnt mean anything is wrong with them.

Suggest Therapy

If they arent already in treatment, gently suggest meeting with a therapist who can help them build skills to manage panic attacks.

When to Avoid Giving Advice

While you should provide emotional support and caring concern, avoid offering too much unsolicited advice on how to manage anxiety unless specifically asked. Well-meaning suggestions can sometimes make people feel like you dont take their anxiety seriously.

Its better to simply listen and ask how you can help. Offer input only if they ask for your take on coping strategies or ways to possibly prevent future attacks.

Keeping Your Own Support Needs in Mind

Helping a loved one through a panic attack can take an emotional toll. Remember to prioritize your own mental health too. Some tips:

  • Take relaxing breaks when needed during lengthy text conversations.
  • Acknowledge your own limitations - you don't have to function as a therapist.
  • Speak with other friends about your experience if needed.
  • Suggest meeting with a therapist yourself to discuss any difficulties.

You can only provide effective panic attack support when your own energy reserves and emotional state are steady.

When to Call Emergency Help

Most panic attacks resolve relatively quickly without need for emergency medical intervention. However, call emergency services immediately if:

  • Breathing troubles or chest pains indicate a possible heart attack or other serious medical issue rather than anxiety.
  • They express intent to seriously harm themselves or others.
  • They mention suicidal thoughts or actions.
  • The attack lasts 60 minutes or more without slowing down.
  • Severe depersonalization/derealization causes them to feel detached from reality.

Always err on the side of caution and call emergency help if any safety concerns arise during an attack.

Understanding Your Supporting Role

While there are many helpful things you can text someone experiencing a panic attack, some key points to remember about your role:

  • You aren't responsible for fixing their anxiety issues or panic attacks.
  • Your texts should complement professional treatment plans, not replace them.
  • Setting boundaries around your involvement is healthy and necessary.
  • You can't force them to take your advice or act on your suggestions.

Providing compassionate support is extremely valuable. But ensure you arent taking on burdens beyond your experience. Encourage seeking professional mental health guidance as well.

Remember Panic Attacks Always Pass

Panic attacks can be deeply unpleasant experiences, both for those suffering through them and loved ones exposed to the distress. But your caring words of support really do make a difference in helping someone through an anxiety episode.

No matter how intense a panic attack may seem in the moment, remind them that the symptoms always pass. The right comforting, compassionate messages can ease the fear and help restore a sense of calm and safety until the anxiety subsides.

FAQs

Should I call them instead of texting?

Texting is often preferable during a panic attack, as it's easier to process written versus auditory information when anxiety is high. Only call if requested or if symptoms are severe.

What if they don't text me back right away?

Don't panic if they don't immediately respond during an attack. They may need time to process your messages and type out replies when able. Keep checking in gently.

How often should I follow up if I don't hear back?

Check in every 10-15 minutes if you haven't received a reply to your texts. Too much bombardment can feel overwhelming, so aim for polite persistence.

Should I go to them in-person if nearby?

Only visit them if directly requested. Showing up uninvited can heighten feelings of being out of control during a panic attack. Text first to see if an in-person visit would help or only make things worse.

What if they ask me to stop texting?

Respect the request for space but first ensure they are safe and have someone else they can reach out to if needed. Reassure you are available if they would like to text again later.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult with a healthcare professional before starting any new treatment regimen.

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