Dating Someone You're Not Excited About? How to Increase the Passion or Move On

Why You May Be Dating Someone You're Not Excited About

It's not uncommon to find yourself in a relationship with someone you don't feel a strong connection or excitement towards. There are many reasons why this can happen:

You're Settling

After being single for a long time or going through a series of unsuccessful relationships, you may be ready to settle down with the next person who comes along that seems "good enough." You convince yourself that you're not going to find someone who checks off all your boxes, so this person is the best you can do. The problem is, without that excitement and connection, the relationship is likely lacking in passion and happiness.

You're Comfortable

Being in a relationship with someone familiar and predictable can feel comfortable and safe. But without that "spark," it may also feel dull and lifeless. Comfort is great, but it shouldn't come at the expense of excitement, chemistry, and growth together as a couple.

You Have Low Self-Esteem

If you struggle with self-doubt or don't feel worthy of love, you may cling to the first person who shows you affection instead of holding out for someone who truly excites you. Work on building up your confidence and sense of self-worth so that you believe you deserve an amazing partner.

You're Afraid to Be Alone

The fear of being single can cause people to stay in mediocre or even unhappy relationships. Take time to reflect on and overcome this insecurity, so you don't settle for less just to have someone. It's better to be single than with the wrong person.

Signs You Should Break Up

If you're dating someone you feel lukewarm about, watch for these signs that it may be time to end the relationship:

You've Lost Interest in Sex

A satisfying sex life depends on chemistry and attraction between partners. If you've lost your sex drive, it could mean you're no longer into this person romantically.

You Prefer Doing Things Alone

If you'd rather go to events, hang out with friends, or run errands by yourself instead of with your significant other, it likely means you don't enjoy their company.

You Don't Miss Them

Couples in healthy relationships look forward to seeing each other after being apart. If time away from your partner doesn't faze you, it's a red flag.

You Don't Share Interests

Having things in common and enjoying the same activities is crucial for bonding. If you don't share any passions, it can be hard to connect.

Your Friends and Family Don't Like Them

Pay attention if the important people in your life don't like your partner or say they seem wrong for you. They may notice issues you're oblivious to.

You Feel Something Is Missing

That gut feeling that the relationship lacks intimacy, fun, stimulating conversation, or something else meaningful is usually correct. Don't ignore it.

How to Increase Excitement in Your Relationship

If you want to rekindle excitement with your current partner instead of breaking up, here are some ways to inject passion back into the relationship:

Make Time for Quality Conversation

Engaging, thoughtful dialogue is crucial for emotional intimacy. Make space for deeper talks about your hopes, dreams, values, and goals as a couple.

Try New Things Together

Shake up your routine by going onoriginal dates, taking a weekend trip somewhere new, challenging each other to learn a skill, or taking a class together like cooking or dance.

Initiate Physical Intimacy

Kiss, hug, hold hands, cuddle, and be affectionate, even if your partner has pulled back. Sometimes one person has to rekindle that spark again.

Surprise Each Other

Keep the relationship fresh by planning unexpected romantic dates or gifts to reignite the butterflies and excitement.

Work on Yourself First

Boost your self-esteem, learn to communicate better, pick up new hobbies - be the best version of yourself, and excitement will follow.

See a Couples Counselor

An objective third party can help you get insight into issues dampening the passion and discover new ways to reconnect.

How to Find a Truly Fulfilling Relationship

If you ultimately decide to end things and seek a new partner, keep these tips in mind:

Reflect on Past Relationships

Look for patterns in the types of people you're attracted to and what went wrong. Learn from your mistakes before moving forward.

Take Time to Heal and Grow

Don't rush into something new. Spend time alone to process, gain perspective, rediscover passions, and become your best self.

Hold Out for Real Excitement

Don't settle for someone just because they're nice or interested. Wait for that chemistry and "hell yes!" feeling of finding the right person.

Watch for Green Flags

Notice when someone makes you feel understood, supported, appreciated, and thrilled to be together. Pay attention to those good signs!

Communicate Your Needs

Speak up about what you want in a relationship - intellectually, emotionally, physically, spiritually. Find someone truly compatible.

Take It Slow

Rushing into commitment too soon overlooks potential issues. Give yourself time in the dating phase to really know each other.

Don't Compromise Your Standards

Stay true to your core values. The right partner will meet your fundamental needs without forcing you to change who you are.

Remember, You Deserve Fulfillment

Being with someone you're not excited about can take a toll on your self-esteem over time. But you deserve so much better. By learning from your past relationships, taking time to grow, and holding out for someone who truly empowers you - you can absolutely find an amazing connection that lights you up and helps you thrive.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult with a healthcare professional before starting any new treatment regimen.