Why Men Lie About Their Age: Motivations and Impact on Relationships

Reasons Why Some Men Lie About Their Age

While age is just a number, it's not uncommon for both men and women to fudge their age. However, some studies show men are more likely to lie about their age, especially on dating sites or apps. There are various psychological and social reasons why men may not be entirely truthful when it comes to revealing their real age.

To Appear Younger and More Vital

One of the most common motivations for men lying about their age is to appear younger. Studies suggest there is a societal double standard where aging and grey hair are considered distinguished on older men, but seen negatively as a woman ages. Men may fib about their age to seem more energetic and youthful.

To Attract Younger Romantic Partners

Related to wanting to seem younger, some men drop a few years to appear more attractive to potential partners of a desired age range. On dating sites and apps, men are more prone to lying about age to avoid being filtered out by younger women's age range preferences.

To Avoid Age Discrimination

Age discrimination in hiring is another reason men may alter their age. Appearing slightly younger can help older male job seekers get a foot in the door for interviews where they can present skills, rather than just an age judged as past their prime.

Cultural Attitudes About Aging

In cultures that revere youth and beauty, the pressure to fudge age can be particularly high. The perceived stigma around aging or milestone ages like 40 or 50 compels some men to celebrate their 39th or 49th birthday repeatedly!

Vanity and Ego

Pure vanity leads some men to shave a few years off their age. Admitting to being over 40, 50 or 60 wounds the egos of men vain about their age. Saying they are still in their late 30s or 40s feels psychologically easier.

Habit or Repeating a Longstanding Lie

After lying about being a few years younger once, some men dig in and retell the false age so often they forget their real number. The lie becomes habit and ego makes it harder to correct the record later in life.

How Common Is Lying About Age for Men?

Research suggests lying about age is extremely common among older male dating app users:

• Over 80% of men over 50 lied about their age on dating apps in one study.
• The average age shaved off was 3.5 years.
• Men were more than twice as likely to lie about age compared to women.
• The highest matches occurred when men set their age as 6 years younger.

While some women do round their age down online too, studies consistently show more men misrepresenting their real age, by a few to several years on average.

Is It Only Online Where Men Lie About Age?

However, lying about age is certainly not limited to just online dating profiles. Other common situations where men may not be totally truthful include:

• New acquaintances and colleagues
• Starting a job
• Talking to younger, attractive women
• Milestone ages - 40th, 50th, 60th birthdays etc.
• Around their childrens friends
• Hospitality situations where they want preferential treatment

Any circumstances where men feel conscious about their real age can compel small lies. offline or online.

What Are the Most Common Ages Men Say Instead of Their Real Age?

According to polls and psychology research, here are some of the most frequently claimed ages men use instead when lying about their real age:

39

Lots of men on the cusp of 40 repeatedly celebrate their 39th birthday. Admitting to being 40 carries a stigma, so 39 allows them to cling to their 30s a bit longer.

49

Similar to 39, perpetually being 49 delays crossing the perceived negative threshold of 50. Some men are happy to live the same year forever if it means postponing saying they are 50 years old.

29

For men in their early to mid 30s, shaving off a few years to claim 29 is appealing. Their 20s are still fresh, and they get a dating advantage by remaining in their 20s on apps and sites.

44

Men in their late 40s who want to appear a bit younger to romantic interests or employers often shave off 4 years. Admitting to being 47, 48 or 49 loses some of the mystique.

34

For men in their late 30s, holding on to 34 maintains the energy and sex appeal of the mid 30s they dont want to relinquish yet. 35 somehow feels older.

Plus or Minus 3-5 Years

According to studies, the most common age range fibbed by men is plus or minus 3-5 years from their actual age. A few years allows some vanity, without being a totally implausible lie.

Do Men Who Lie About Their Age Have Relationship Trouble?

Relationships that start with one partner lying about age often run into roadblocks down the line. When the truth eventually comes out, mistrust and feelings of betrayal arise. Some potential issues include:

• Broken trust and loss of credibility
• Insecurity - What else have they lied about?
• Retroactive disgust - Ick, they lied from the beginning!
• Questioning the whole basis of the relationship
• Age difference matters suddenly feeling weird

The silly vanity of lying crumbles quickly when it risks a real relationship. Coming clean right away gives the best chance for forgiveness and moving on.

Are Small Age Lies Worse Online?

Meeting online or through apps seems to intensify the reaction when age lies are revealed. Some reasons why:

• First impressions are only based on profiles, so lies seem bigger.
• No friendship or chemistry to balance out the scales.
• More justification to immediately write someone off over lies.
• Bad stories about lies influence opinion more.

Having the baseline rug pulled out from under by online age lies makes it harder to recover. But for some, the connection formed can still override the lie.

What Are Men Hoping to Gain by Lying About Age?

Understanding motivations can help women cope with men who lie about their age. Besides vanity, some hopes men have include:

• Wanting to appear more youthful and vibrant
• Seeming more relateable to younger partners
• Delay aging stereotypes as over the hill
• Increase attractiveness to wider range of women
• Gain an edge against younger competition at work
• Get preferential treatment by seeming younger

While lying feeds the ego, it often backfires. Honesty about age builds more solid relationships in the end.

How to Tell if a Man is Lying About His Age?

Little slip-ups and discrepancies can expose when a man is fudging his age. Signs include:

• Math doesnt add up about years married, kids ages, etc.
• Hesitates or stumbles when asked about specific years or ages.
• Seems cagey about celebrating birthdays.
• Friends or family members allude to different ages.
• Appearance just doesnt match claimed age.
• Immaturity slips through despite apparent age.

Following instincts and looking for subtle inconsistencies can reveal when a man is not being truthful. But cornering them aggressively often makes them dig in deeper with lies.

When to Let Small Age Lies Go?

In some circumstances, it may be best to allow little age fudging if:

• Its only a 1-2 year difference.
• He comes clean on his own later.
• The relationship is solid enough to withstand it.
• His intentions were not malicious.

An otherwise great relationship can persist despite silly vanity around age, when handled with empathy. But repeated large lies must be addressed for trust to exist.

How to Have a Conversation About Age Lies

Rather than accusation and blame, have an open talk:

• Ask why he felt compelled to lie.
• Discuss your feelings of disappointment and mistrust.
• Communicate the importance of honesty to a real relationship.
• If online, consider taking age off the table entirely at first.
• Allow him room to admit lying without total condemnation.

The door should remain open to forgive and rebuild trust if he is remorseful, understands impact, and recommits to openness. An opportunity to start fresh on the right foot can yield a relationship stronger than if no lie occurred.

How Should Women Proceed After Learning a Man Lied About Age?

Discovering age deception is understandably upsetting. Before making any permanent decisions, consider:

• His reasons - Was is vanity or more malicious?
• Actual age difference - Is it still acceptable to you?
• Other qualities - Aside from age, is he a great match?
• Did he confess voluntarily? Taking accountability is a good sign.
• Make space to process it before final judgments.

While frustrating, a small age lie told out of insecurity may not warrant completely writing someone off in an otherwise promising relationship. Trust can recover when men own their mistake.

When Is It Time to Walk Away?

Factors indicating the lies are too big to overcome:

• Repeated large age gaps of 5+ years.
• Unrepentant or defensive attitude.
• Other confirmed significant lies.
• Total loss of trust with no path forward.
• Pattern of predatory behavior.

Ultimately trust instincts. Lying reveals deeper issues that may be impossible to move past. Protect yourself, but keep an open mind before closing the book completely.

Can Relationships Survive After Age Deception?

With effort and reconciliation from both parties, relationships can recover and thrive after revelations of age lying. Some tips include:

• The liar apologizes fully and does not justify behavior.
• The hurt party voices feelings but aims for understanding.
• Sincerely forgive and agree to start fresh with honesty.
• Focus on all the qualities that initially connected you.
• Dont make the lie a perennial weapon; leave it in the past.

Humans make mistakes; lies can destroy trust but also present opportunities to build it even stronger. A man brave enough to own up to petty vanity around his age deserves the chance to redeem the relationship.

Conclusion

While lying about age is common among men, especially online, motivations like vanity and fear of aging rarely justify deception. Honesty presents the chance for real relationships built on trust. With empathy for insecurities but boundaries around repeated lies, age discrepancies can become just one more obstacle overcome in healthy partnerships where both parties allow themselves to be truly known and loved.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult with a healthcare professional before starting any new treatment regimen.