Coping Tips When a Loved One With Bipolar Disorder Pushes You Away

Coping When a Loved One With Bipolar Disorder Pushes You Away

Bipolar disorder is a mental health condition characterized by extreme shifts in mood and energy levels. A person with bipolar may swing from emotional highs (mania) to lows (depression) and back again. During these mood episodes, they may engage in atypical behavior that includes pushing loved ones away.

Being pushed away by someone you care about who is struggling with bipolar can be confusing, frustrating and deeply painful. But there are compassionate ways you can respond when this occurs while still setting healthy boundaries for yourself.

Understanding Why It Happens

First, recognize that distancing behaviors are common during bipolar mood episodes. Some reasons this may occur:

• They feel overwhelmed by the intensity of emotions
• Ashamed of out-of-character conduct during mood swings
• Worried about burdening others with their issues
• Hypersensitive to perceived judgment or criticism
• Skewed perspective that makes them withdraw socially

Their motivations are often self-protection and isolating to avoid feeling rejected first. Its not a personal attack, even if it feels that way.

Managing Your Own Reactions

Being pushed away can evoke hurt, anger, or guilt. But avoid taking it personally. Use coping strategies like:

• Self-care - Tend to your own wellbeing first.
• Patience - Allow space knowing its the illness, not you.
• Support system - Confide in trusted friends/family.
• Education - Learn about bipolar to better understand.
• Therapy - Seek counseling to process difficult emotions.

Preserve your stability and dont beat yourself up. You are not responsible for their condition or actions.

Responding Constructively

When a bipolar loved one pushes you away, avoid escalating the situation. React calmly with their health interests in mind:

Give Space But Stay Available

Respect requests for distance, which protects their equilibrium. But gently convey youre still there if needed for support.

Encourage Professional Help

Without pressuring, suggest it may be helpful to talk to their doctor, therapist or support group during this time.

Avoid Ultimatums

Threatening to end the relationship unless they stop withdrawing often backfires. Have an open conversation when moods stabilize.

Check In Occasionally

Periodically text or call just to say you care, but dont smother them.

Send Notes of Encouragement

Leave positive voicemails or cards reiterating you believe in their strength.

Offer Low-Key Activities

Propose calm outings like walking or a movie with no pressure to accept.

Set Healthy Boundaries

Be supportive but also safeguard your self-care. Their illness does not obligate you to accept mistreatment.

With loving patience focused on their wellness, you can get through the distancing episode together.

Caring for Someone with Bipolar Disorder

In addition to responding correctly when pushed away, you can provide ongoing support to a bipolar loved one:

Learn About the Illness

Educate yourself on bipolar signs, symptoms and treatments. Understanding the disorder helps you react in constructive ways.

Help Them Manage Stress

Since stress commonly triggers episodes, help reduce sources of strain and anxiety for them.

Support Doctor Recommendations

Gently reinforce the importance of following their prescribed treatment plan.

Watch for Warning Signs

Subtle changes in sleep, mood or behavior may signal an impending episodic shift. Alert them and their doctor.

Set Expectations

Disruptive mania/depression can make sticking to commitments tough. Keep expectations flexible.

Encourage Routine

Having a regular daily schedule helps maintain stability for someone with bipolar disorder.

Provide Reality Checks

If their thinking becomes distorted during an episode, politely offer fact checks.

Don't Take Behavior Personally

Remember hurtful conduct stems from illness, not genuine intent.

Watch for Warning Signs

Stay alert for any suicidal thinking and get professional help immediately if concerned about their safety.

With compassion, patience and open communication, you can be a source of comfort and constancy for your bipolar loved one.

Establishing Relationship Boundaries

To sustain the relationship when a loved one has bipolar disorder, its essential to set healthy boundaries for yourself. Some beneficial boundaries include:

Time Apart

Make regular time for your own interests and self-care. The relationship shouldn't consume you.

Space from Chaos

Dont get drawn into unnecessary crises sparked by manic behavior.

Open Communication

Require respectful communication. Walk away if conversations turn abusive.

Not Enabling Harmful Choices

Dont support reckless decisions made during mood swings.

Financial Separation

Keep finances separate if episodes lead to money mismanagement.

Personal Responsibility

They must take accountability for managing their illness, not expect you to.

Self-Care Priority

Make your mental health and needs a top concern - dont become consumed as a caregiver.

Preserving your own wellbeing enables you to be a stabilizing presence through their bipolar condition.

Getting Support as a Caregiver

Make sure to get support for yourself when you have a loved one with bipolar disorder. Helpful sources of support include:

Therapy

Seeing an individual therapist provides an outlet to process challenging emotions that arise in the relationship.

Support Groups

Local and online groups connect caregivers facing similar bipolar relationship issues.

Respite Care

Take advantage of respite services to get occasional breaks from caregiving duties.

Family and Friends

Confide in trusted people who can offer understanding and reassurance.

Medical Providers

Talk to the persons doctor/therapist for guidance on constructively relating.

Self-Care

Make time for your needs - sleep, exercise, socializing, relaxing activities.

Dont take on bipolar caregiving alone. Seek support networks to help cope effectively.

When Professional Help is Needed

While you can provide love and support, remember you cannot substitute for medical care. Its essential they have professional treatment. Recommend seeking help if:

• Symptoms interfere with daily functioning
• Episodes become severe or dangerous
• They talk about harming themselves or others
• Warning signs indicate a mood shift is developing
• Medication needs adjustment to better control symptoms

Consult with their doctor about appropriate inpatient or outpatient programs if needed. With professional oversight, they can better manage bipolar disorder.

When to Step Back

As much as you want to help your bipolar loved one, it may become necessary to step back from the relationship if:

• Your own mental health is suffering
• They become abusive, manipulative or exploitative
• They refuse treatment or healthcare advice
• They make no effort to manage destructive behavior
• Caregiving demands are overwhelming you

Create distance with compassion - explain you need to prioritize self-care for the good of both. Severe mania/depression may require temporary hospitalization and rehabilitation treatment.

Remember Your Worth

Being pushed away when your intentions are caring and supportive hurts deeply. But dont internalize it. Remind yourself:

• This is their illness acting, not the totality of who they are.
• With space and time, your bond can be restored.
• By setting healthy boundaries, you become a stronger support system.
• You are worthy of love and respect.
• You cannot singlehandedly control or cure their disorder.

Have self-compassion, know your value, and take comfort that your stable presence offers ballast through the ups and downs of bipolar disorder.

In Summary

When a loved one with bipolar pushes you away, respond with empathy, patience and care for their condition. Provide consistent support, set healthy boundaries, get help when needed, but also know when to step back. Protect your emotional health while being a caring supporter. This balanced approach allows you to cope and reconnect once the episodic distancing subsides.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult with a healthcare professional before starting any new treatment regimen.