Why Men Act Differently After Cheating
There are a few key reasons why a man's behavior may seem off if he has cheated:
Guilt
If he feels guilty or regrets cheating, a man may act withdrawn, moody, or emotionally distant. He may have trouble meeting your gaze.
Fear of Getting Caught
A cheater may be constantly worried that you will detect he's been unfaithful. This can make him act skittish or anxious.
Attachment to the Other Woman
If emotionally or physically attached to his affair partner, he may seem distracted, spend more time away from home, or appear unsatisfied in the relationship.
Relief
In some cases, cheating provides an outlet for sexual or emotional frustration. The release may result in the cheater being in an unusually good mood.
Keep in mind that changes in behavior can also stem from other issues like job stress, financial pressures, mental health struggles, or midlife crises. However, if you notice multiple red flags, cheating may be worth investigating.
15 Ways a Man May Act After Cheating
According to relationship counselors, these are some of the most common changes that men demonstrate after being unfaithful:
1. He Pulls Away Emotionally
A cheater may stop sharing his innermost thoughts and feelings. He may seem detached and make excuses to avoid one-on-one time.
2. His Routine Changes
He spends more time away from home, comes back later, or makes unexplained detours. Unaccounted time away could be spent with the other woman.
3. He Criticizes You More
A cheater finds fault in his spouse, picking fights and blaming you for his reasons for cheating. This eases his conscience.
4. He Checks His Phone Constantly
A man who cheats keeps close tabs on his phone for texts and calls from the other woman. If he's super protective of his phone, it could mean he's hiding something.
5. He Grooms More
Showering at odd times, applying cologne, getting fit - these could all be ways your man seeks to impress his mistress.
6. His Sex Drive Changes
Cheating sometimes increases sex drive due to excitement from the affair. But sometimes it lowers libido if he feels sexual satisfaction from the other partner.
7. He Seems Happier
A husband who cheats may appear to be in an unusually good mood. He may act nicer and more upbeat for a period after his affair.
8. He Lies About His Whereabouts
A cheating spouse may lie about where he was or make up last-minute excuses for why his plans changed. This could be to conceal meetings with the other woman.
9. He Accuses You of Cheating
A cheater will sometimes wrongly accuse his spouse of cheating. This deflects suspicion away from his own actions.
10. He Works Later Hours
Spending more time at work, working late, or going in early may not be due to work - it could provide an excuse to meet up with his affair partner.
11. He Dresses Better
Some men will improve their grooming and personal style when cheating. This sends the message that he's making an effort for someone else.
12. His Online Activity Changes
He spends more time online late at night, hides screen activity, or appears to be closing or minimizing windows as you enter the room. This could indicate inappropriate online communications.
13. He's More Affectionate and Attentive
In an attempt to compensate for his cheating behaviors, a man may actually become more loving and doting for a period after an affair.
14. He Shows Less Interest in Sex with You
A husband who once was interested and engaged may begin acting bored, distracted or disinterested during sex. He may even start avoiding intimacy altogether.
15. You Have an Instinct
Even without solid evidence, you may intuitively sense that something is off. Some wives report literally feeling that their husband has cheated even before discovering so. Trust your gut.
When Confronting Him is Wise
If you suspect cheating based on your man's changed behaviors and other red flags, it may be wise to bring up the topic. Of course breaching the subject will be difficult, but avoid allowing suspicions to fester. Approach conversations gently and give him the benefit of the doubt at first. Counseling can help navigate this sensitive issue constructively.
On the other hand, if your worries are based on a gut feeling without many clear reasons, it may be beneficial to wait and gather more concrete evidence before an outright confrontation. Talk to close friends in your support system in the meantime.
Other Possible Reasons for Changes in Behavior
While cheating is one explanation, there are other potential causes to explore for shifts in your man's typical conduct:
Job Loss or Career Stress
Your partner could be acting withdrawn, irritable or distracted due to job loss, instability, or intensifying demands at work.
Mental Health Problems
Depression, anxiety, PTSD, addiction or midlife crisis can cause men to behave erratically and seem detached from family life.
Physical Health Issues
Chronic pain, cancer, heart disease, ED, low testosterone or other medical issues may contribute to changes like lack of sexual interest.
Family Stress
A death in the family, conflict over parenting, or caring for a sick relative could understandably impact his mood and routine.
He Feels Neglected
Problems in the marriage, lack of intimacy, or feeling undervalued could provoke changes too. Improving the relationship may help.
Before assuming infidelity, have an open discussion to explore what else could be responsible for the shifts you are noticing.
Coping After Discovering He Cheated
If you confirm that your partner did cheat, you will likely feel overwhelmed by pain and anger. Take time for self-care and lean on your support system. Avoid making big decisions like divorce until intense emotions have calmed down. Counseling can assist you with navigating this difficult relational crisis in a constructive way.
With effort from both partners, some relationships survive infidelity and even grow stronger if honest conversations lead to increased intimacy and commitment. But reconciliation is a very personal choice.
Regardless of your path forward, remind yourself that you are worthy of loyalty and love. Learn from this experience, but don't let
FAQs
What are some of the most common signs a man will show when he has cheated?
Typical signs include increased criticism towards you, changes in sex drive, defensiveness about phone/online activity, lying about whereabouts, dressing better, and showing less interest in the marriage and family life.
What if my partner says he hasn't cheated but I still have an instinct he did?
Trust your intuition, but avoid making accusations without proof. Gather more concrete evidence, and approach the topic gently by explaining your concerns and asking open questions. Consider counseling.
Are there other reasons besides cheating my spouse could be acting distant and strange?
Yes, causes like job loss, mental health problems, medical issues, family stress, or feeling neglected in the relationship could also explain changes in his typical behavior.
What should I do if I confirm my partner cheated?
Take time for self-care and lean on supportive friends and family. Avoid big decisions until intense emotions subside. Consider counseling to navigate this situation in a thoughtful way. Reconciliation is possible but must be on your terms.
How do I know if it's worth trying to repair the relationship after infidelity?
Consider factors like length of relationship, history, willingness to rebuild trust, showing true remorse, ending affair completely, getting counseling, and committing to complete transparency. Ultimtely it's a very personal decision.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult with a healthcare professional before starting any new treatment regimen.
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